PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 21

Leopold, Darrow and Loeb

On this day in 1863, the Seventh Day Adventist Church - an offshoot of the Apocalyptic creed of Millerite Protestantism - is organized in Battle Creek, Michigan. Today, there are over seventeen million "Sevvies" around the world, and they are one of the most ethnically diverse branches of the Christian faith. Seventh Day Adventists celebrate the Sabbath day on Saturday, in the Old Testament style of the Jews, and they place a strong emphasis on healthy eating and living. Probably the most lasting impact that they've had on popular culture is the introduction of ready-to-eat breakfast cereals to the North American diet.

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On this day in 1871, French troops invade the Paris Commune and engage its residents in street fighting. By the close of "Bloody Week" some 20,000 anarchist and Marxist "communards" will have been killed and 38,000 arrested. Thus ended a historic, two-month experiment in self-rule by the people of Paris.

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On this day in 1924, two young, well-to-do homosexuals named Leopold and Loeb murder 14 year-old Bobby Franks. At the time, this murder was considered one of the vilest and most sensational crimes in U.S. history, because the killers did it just for kicks. Defending the young murderers in court, legendary lawyer Clarence Darrow claims that the boys would never have become killers if they hadn't read the works of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, whose theory of the Ubermensch - a highly evolved idealization of humanity who exists above and beyond the mundane conceptions of "good" and "evil" - he claims twisted their minds.

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On this day in 1946, physicist Louis Slotin is blasted with a fatal dose of radiation in a "criticality incident" during an experiment with the aptly-named Demon Core - a 6.2 kilogram sub-critical mass of plutonium - at Los Alamos National Laboratory. It was the second time that such an incident resulted in the acute radiation poisoning and subsequent death of a scientist. After these incidents, the core was used in an atomic bomb test in 1946, and proved in practice to have a slightly increased yield over similar cores which had not been subjected to criticality excursions. Here's a dramatization of the Slotin incident from the movie Fat Man and Little Boy.

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On this day in 1969, Palestinian immigrant Sirhan Sirhan is sentenced to death for killing Robert Kennedy in a Los Angeles restaurant kitchen. The sentence is never carried out, as California got rid of the death penalty.

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On this day in 1979, the White Night Riots take place in San Francisco following the manslaughter conviction of Dan "Twinkie Defense" White for the assassinations of mayor George Moscone and openly gay city councilman Harvey Milk.

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On this day in 1981, the Italian government releases the membership list of Propaganda Due, also known as the P2 Lodge, a Masonic lodge operating under the jurisdiction of the Grand Orient of Italy from 1945 to 1976 (when its charter was withdrawn), and a pseudo-Masonic or "black" or "covert" lodge operating illegally (in contravention of Italian constitution banning secret lodges and membership of government officials in secret membership organizations) from 1976 to 1981. During the years that the lodge was headed by Licio Gelli, P2 was implicated in numerous Italian crimes and mysteries, including the collapse of the Vatican-affiliated Banco Ambrosiano, the murders of journalist Mino Pecorelli and banker Roberto Calvi, and corruption cases within the nationwide bribe scandal "Tangentopoli". P2 came to light through the investigations into the collapse of Michele Sindona's financial empire. It has also been connected to the CIA-connected European right-wing black-ops org known as Gladio.

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 19

New England's Dark Day

On this day in 1536, Anne Boleyn, the second wife of Henry VIII, is beheaded for adultery, treason, and incest.

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On this day in the year 1780, in the middle of the afternoon, New England is plunged into almost total darkness. On the day in question, Connecticut State Council wanted to adjourn so members could go home and prepare for Judgement Day, but councilor Abraham Davenport said: "I am against an adjournment. The day of judgment is either approaching, or it is not. If it is not, there is no cause of an adjournment: if it is, I choose to be found doing my duty. I wish therefore that candles may be brought!" To this day, nobody knows what happened... although I gotta figure it probably had something to do with witches.

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On this day in 1943, Nazi dictator Adolph Hitler declares the city of Berlin to be Judenrien, or completely empty of Jewish people. At first, the dictator is proud of his sinister achievement, but when he finds that he can't get a decent smoked meat sandwich to save his life anymore... he begins to secretly harbor regrets.

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On this day in 1953, the Pentagon sets off a nuclear explosion on a remote Nevada proving ground, but unexpectedly strong winds carry fall-out all the way to the town of Saint George, Utah. Today, when looking back at the ecological catastrophe, the plucky people of Saint George say: "No sweat!" It's not that they don't mind that their government's lax safety controls led to their town getting bathed in radiation. It's just that they were born without sweat glands, and literally can't produce sweat.

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On this day in 1962, a birthday salute to President John F. Kennedy takes place at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The highlight is Marilyn Monroe's rendition of Happy Birthday, making the whole presidential extramarital liaison thing just a little too obvious for some folks' liking.

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 4

On this day in 1493, Pope Alexander VI divides the New World between Spain and Portugal along the Line of Demarcation, thereby initiating a series of events that would eventually lead to some of the world's most incredibly hostile soccer rivalries.

***

On this day in 1855, adventurer William Walker sets off from San Francisco with about 60 men and a plan to conquer the Central American nation of Nicaragua. This time, contrary to his numerous previous attempts, he actually succeeds! Without too much violence, Walker installs himself as "President of the Republic of Nicaragua." His rule lasted for less than two years, at which point his junta was defeated by a coalition of Central American militias. Walker was eventually executed in Honduras in 1860.

***

On this day in 1904, the United States begins construction of the Panama Canal, a civil engineering project that would turn out to be a global game-changer, both politically and economically.

***

On this day in 1961, the first 13 Freedom Riders begin their bus trip through the American South, in an effort to end segregation of the public transportation system. After training in non-violent civil disobedience techniques, black and white volunteers sit next to each other as they travel by bus through the Deep South. In Anniston, Alabama, one bus is destroyed, and riders on another are attacked by men armed with clubs, bricks, iron pipes and knives. In response to these acts of violence, Attorney General Robert Kennedy sends DOJ official John Seigenthaler to accompany the Freedom Riders. In Birmingham, the passengers are greeted by the Ku Klux Klan, and further acts of violence. At Montgomery, the state capital, a white mob beats the riders with chains and ax handles. When local authorities make it clear that they will make no effort to protect the Riders, President John F. Kennedy sends federal marshals from the North to do the job. Despite the escalating violence, over a thousand volunteers take part in Freedom Rides during the ensuing months.

***

On this day in 1970, at Ohio's Kent State University, thirteen seconds of rifle fire by a contingent of 28 National Guardsmen leaves four students (Allison Krause, Jeffrey Miller, Sandra Scheuer, and William Schroeder) dead, one permanently paralyzed, and eight others wounded. A "special" state grand jury exonerates the Guardsmen, but indicts 25 students for a variety of offenses such as bleeding on public property, excessive weeping, and attempting to avoid being shot.

***

On this day in 1979, Margaret Thatcher becomes the first, and so far last, female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Until Theresa May.

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On this day in 1989, former White House aide Oliver North is convicted of three crimes and acquitted of nine other charges in connection with the Iran-Contra Affair, still one of the most poorly understood scandals in recent American history. These convictions are later overturned on appeal.

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On this day in 1994, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin signs a peace accord with PLO leader Yasser Arafat regarding Palestinian autonomy granting self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho. Consequently, he would soon become the victim of the most transparently conspiratorial political assassination in the history of Mideast politics. And brother, that is saying something.

***

On this day in 1998, Theodore "Unabomber" Kaczynski is sentenced to four life sentences (plus 30 years) by a California court after accepting a plea agreement which spares him from the death penalty. Check out this Useless Eater Blog post from years ago for a detailed look at the Unabomber case, and its connections to the creation of the Internet, the spread of LSD across college campuses in the 60's, the rise of Game Theory and the Cybernetic Model of mind-control, among many, many other things.

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 17

On this day in 1397, Geoffrey Chaucer begins telling his Canterbury Tales for the first time at the court of Richard II. Chaucer scholars have also identified this date (in 1387) as the start of the book's pilgrimage to Canterbury.

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On this day in 1897, the Aurora, Texas, UFO incident allegedly takes place. It's pretty freaking interesting, to tell you the truth.

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On this day in 1907, the Ellis Island immigration center processes 11,747 people, more than on any other day.

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On this day in 1937, Daffy Duck's first appearance, in Porky's Duck Hunt.

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On this day in 1941, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia surrenders to Germany during World War II. And yet we don’t make any “surrender-monkey” jokes about Yugoslavians the way we do about the French. Why is that, do you think?

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On this day in 1961, in a massive covert operation that remains, at best, poorly understood, one thousand four hundred CIA-funded Cuban exiles (most likely trained by Bush Crime Family capo di tuti capi George Herbert "Poppy" Walker Bush) land in the Bay of Pigs, ostensibly in an abortive attempt to overthrow Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Depending on which version of reality you believe - the officially approved version or one of the myriad competing alternative versions - this failed coup either led directly to JFK's assassination by Castro supporter Lee Harvey Oswald, or it led indirectly to his assassination by the CIA as revenge for JFK's refusal to be forced into providing air support for a military action the Executive branch had no part in planning. Personally, yer old pal Jerky considers Bay of Pigs to be a veritable Rosetta Stone for parapolitical theorists.

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On this day in 1969, Palestinian immigrant Sirhan Sirhan is found guilty of assassinating presidential candidate Robert Francis Kennedy. Just as in the assassination of his brother, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, serious doubts and troubling questions remain.

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On this day in 1975, the Khmer Rouge captures the Cambodian capital city Phnom Penh and government forces surrender, ending that nation’s civil war, and kicking off one of the century’s bloodiest genocides.

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On this day in 1986, IBM announces it will commence the manufacture of the first ever computers using the megabit memory chip, which is capable of storing more than one million bits of electronic data, thereby bringing us out of the age of ascii nudes, which led directly to the era of masturbation-worthy computer porn.

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On this day in 2013, an incredibly powerful explosion occurs at a fertilizer plant in the city of West, Texas, killing 15 and injuring 160, thus proving once and for all the old adage "Everything is KABOOM-er in Texas."

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JULY 16

On this day in 622, the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) begins his Hijra - i.e. "schlep" - from Mecca to Medina, thus marking the beginning of the Islamic calendar.

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On this day in 1054, three Roman legates break relations between Western and Eastern Christian Churches through the act of placing an invalidly-issued Papal bull of Excommunication on the altar of Hagia Sophia during Saturday afternoon divine liturgy. Historians frequently describe the event as the start of the East–West Schism, splitting the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Christian churches.

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On this day in 1661, the first banknotes in Europe are issued by the Swedish bank Stockholms Banco, thus beginning the era of "paper money" that is working out so well for us all. I am referring, of course, to the recent revelation that putting 250 dollars into a Chase "savings account" will net you 12 cents a year in accumulated interest while costing you 4 dollars a month in assorted bank fees.

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On this day in 1790, the District of Columbia is established as the capital of the United States after signature of the Residence Act. After Vatican City and the City of London, it features one of the most conspiracy-spawning civil engineering layouts of any big city in the world.

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On this day in 1935, the world's first parking meter is installed in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

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On this day in 1945, the Atomic Age begins when the United States successfully detonates a plutonium-based test nuclear weapon near Alamogordo, New Mexico. The test site was named Trinity, after one of John Donne's Holy Sonnets, and Manhattan Project chief Robert Oppenheimer recalled a passage from the Hindu holy book, the Bhagavad-Gita: "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Heavy shit, and not without cause.

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On this day in 1948, the storming of the cockpit of the Miss Macao passenger seaplane, operated by a subsidiary of the Cathay Pacific Airways, marks the first aircraft hijacking of a commercial plane in history.

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On this day in the year 1951, a former member of the CIA’s psychiatry division unleashes on an unwitting public one of the greatest hypnotic trigger mechanisms ever created. That man is J.D. Salinger. The mechanism is his novel, The Catcher in the Rye, which was a favorite of at least three crazed "lone" gunmen: Sirhan Sirhan (who was involved in the assassination of RFK), Mark David Chapman (who assassinated John Lennon) and John Hinkley Jr (who tried to kill President Ronald Reagan on behalf of the Bush Crime Family)..

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On this day in 1969, the Apollo 11 rocket is launched at the moon. Sitting atop this rocket is the Lunar Module. On board are three men: Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins. Armstrong and Aldrin will be the first human beings (that we know of) to walk on the lunar surface. Unfortunately for Collins, Commander Neil caught him trying to steal one of Buzz's Tang packets, and as punishment, was not allowed to leave the module. Collins is bitter to this very day, and vows that when he dies, his ghost will haunt the moon forever. Just kidding.

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On this day in 1979, Iraqi President Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr resigns and is replaced by Uncle Sam's Man in Baghdad... Saddam Hussein.

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On this day in 1994, fragments of the Shoemaker-Levy 9 comet smash spectacularly into Jupiter, poking huge holes in the giant planet's gassy atmosphere.

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On this day in 1999, there was absolutely nothing worth being suspicious about in relation to the small airplane crash that took the lives of pilot John Kennedy Jr, his wife Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy and sister-in-law Lauren Bessette. Nope... nothing at all worth being suspicious about.

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 5

On this day in 8239 BC, the Universe is imagined into existence by a couple of void-dwelling Gods, according to the Mayan "long-count" calendar. FYI, this is the same calendar that lists December 21st, 2012 A.D. as the day that the Universe was supposed to come to an end... so take that with a grain of salt.

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On this day in 1933, Congress enacts a joint resolution (48 Stat. 112) nullifying the right of creditors to demand payment in gold, thereby effectively abrogating the United States' use of the gold standard.

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On this day in 1947, US Secretary of State George Marshall calls for economic aid to war-torn Europe during a speech at Harvard University. This is the unofficial start of the Marshall Plan, an unprecedented reconstruction effort that laid the foundations for the post-war world.

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On this day in 1963, British Secretary of State for War John Profumo resigns over a sex scandal known as the Profumo Affair, which involved him getting all shagadelic with a call girl who was also regularly banging a Soviet official in London at the time.

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On this day in 1967, the Israeli air force launches simultaneous preemptive attacks on the air forces of Egypt and Syria, thus igniting the Six-Day War.

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On this day, in 1968, at 12:16 am Pacific Standard Time, Sirhan Sirhan shoots Bobby Kennedy -- or not, depending on who you ask. RFK succumbs to his wounds the next day. So, let's see... JFK, RFK, MLK, John Lennon... Hey! How come these whack-job lone gunmen only succeed when they go after liberals? Right-wingers have better aim, I guess. And don't give me any of that crap about Oswald being a commie, either. Anyway, watch this video to be educated about the mysteries surrounding the SECOND Kennedy assassination conspiracy.

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On this day in 1981, the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that five people in Los Angeles, California, have a rare form of pneumonia seen only in patients with weakened immune systems, in what turns out to be the first recognized cases of AIDS.

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On this day in 1995, a new state of matter is created in a laboratory. Dubbed the Bose-Einstein Condensate, it can be used to literally reduce the speed of light, slowing it down to the speed of the average bicycle.

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On this day in 2004, American actor and politician Ronald Reagan -- 40th President of the United States – passes away. Read my musings from that time if you're interested in learning how "conservative movementarians" used Reagan's death as cover for their crimes and as a means of concretizing their manufactured legendarium as historical truth.

ON THIS DAY IN PARA-CULTURE, JUNE 5

On this day in 8239 BC, the Universe is imagined into existence by two void-dwelling Gods, according to the Mayan "long-count" calendar. FYI, this same calendar lists December 21st, 2012 AD as the day that the Universe will come to an end... So smoke'em if ya got'em!

On this day in 1956, new-fangled rock-and-roller Elvis Presley creates a nationwide panic when he goes on The Milton Berle Show and performs a swivel-hipped rendition of his cover tune classic, Houndog. Later that night, pretty much anywhere within a five mile radius of a television set, if you went outside and breathed in deep, you could smell the faint aroma of sopping wet panties hanging in the air.

On this day, in 1968, at 12:16 am Pacific Standard Time, Sirhan Sirhan shoots Bobby Kennedy (or not), who dies the next day. JFK, RFK, MLK, John Lennon... Hey! How come these whack-job lone gunmen only succeed when they go after liberals? God must be a conservative, I guess.

On this day in 1933, U.S. Congress abrogates the gold standard by enacting a joint resolution (48 Stat. 112) nullifying the right of creditors to demand payment in gold. This is one of those historical "wrong turns" Ron Paul is always harping on about.

On this day in 1963, British Secretary of State for War John Profumo resigns after it comes to light that he's been shagging sexy, commie-connected call girl Christine Keeler. The scandal is popularly known as the Profumo Affair. Why it isn't called the Keeler Kerfuffle, I have no idea.

On this day in 1967, the Six-Day War begins when the Israeli air force launches (ahem) simultaneous pre-emptive attacks on the air forces of Egypt and Syria.

On this day in 1977, the Apple II, one of the first personal computers, goes on sale. So... have you ever wondered what that "apple with a bite out of it" logo means? Or why the first Apple computer sold for $666? So have these guys.

On this day in 1981, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that five people in Los Angeles, California have a rare form of pneumonia seen only in patients with weakened immune systems, in what turns out to be the first recognized cases of AIDS.

On this day in 1989, a single man halts the progress of a column of advancing tanks for over half an hour during the Tiananmen Square massacre. You gotta hand it to him. He was one ballsy fucker, and that's for damn sure.

On this day in 2004, after nearly 16 years out of office and out of the public eye, President Ronald Reagan dies at 93 years old. He is the oldest serving and the longest-living of all American Presidents. The heavily stage-managed media spectacle that followed Reagan's passing was, simply put, astonishing in its mercenary zeal. I wrote some good editorials about it, back in the day. If anybody asks, I'll email them. Also, don't worry... I hope to get some new quality writing done soon, so I can stop reveling in my former glories.

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR - MAY 4

On this day in 1493, Pope Alexander VI divides the New World between Spain and Portugal along the Line of Demarcation, thereby initiating a series of events that would eventually lead to some of the world's most incredibly hostile soccer rivalries.

On this day in 1855, adventurer William Walker sets off from San Francisco with about 60 men and a plan to conquer the Central American nation of Nicaragua. This time, contrary to his numerous previous attempts, he actually succeeds! Without too much violence, Walker installs himself as "President of the Republic of Nicaragua." His rule lasted for less than two years, at which point his junta was defeated by a coalition of Central American militias. Walker was eventually executed in Honduras in 1860.

On this day in 1904, the United States begins construction of the Panama Canal, a civil engineering project that would turn out to be a global game-changer, both politically and economically.

On this day in 1961, the first 13 Freedom Riders begin their bus trip through the American South, in an effort to end segregation of the public transportation system. After training in non-violent civil disobedience techniques, black and white volunteers sit next to each other as they travel by bus through the Deep South. In Anniston, Alabama, one bus is destroyed, and riders on another are attacked by men armed with clubs, bricks, iron pipes and knives. In response to these acts of violence, Attorney General Robert Kennedy sends DOJ official John Seigenthaler to accompany the Freedom Riders. In Birmingham, the passengers are greeted by the Ku Klux Klan, and further acts of violence. At Montgomery, the state capital, a white mob beats the riders with chains and ax handles. When local authorities make it clear that they will make no effort to protect the Riders, President John F. Kennedy sends federal marshals from the North to do the job. Despite the escalating violence, over a thousand volunteers take part in Freedom Rides during the ensuing months.

On this day in 1970, at Ohio's Kent State University, thirteen seconds of rifle fire by a contingent of 28 National Guardsmen leaves four students (Allison Krause,Jeffrey Miller, Sandra Scheuer, and William Schroeder) dead, one permanently paralyzed, and eight others wounded. A "special" state grand jury exonerates the Guardsmen, but indicts 25 students for a variety of offenses such as bleeding on public property, excessive weeping, and attempting to avoid being shot.

On this day in 1979, Margaret Thatcher becomes the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

On this day in 1989, former White House aide Oliver North is convicted of three crimes and acquitted of nine other charges in connection with the Iran-Contra Affair, still one of the most poorly understood scandals in recent American history. These convictions are later overturned on appeal.

On this day in 1994, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin signs a peace accord with PLO leader Yasser Arafat regarding Palestinian autonomy granting self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho. Consequently, he would soon become the victim of the most transparently conspiratorial political assassination in the history of Mideast politics. And brother, that is saying something.

On this day in 1998, Theodore "Unabomber" Kaczynski is sentenced to four life sentences (plus 30 years) by a California court after accepting a plea agreement which spares him from the death penalty. Check out this Useless Eater Blog post from a few days back for a detailed look at the Unabomber case, and its connections to the creation of the Internet, the spread of LSD across college campuses in the 60's, the rise of Game Theory and the Cybernetic Model of mind-control, among many, many other things.