Saturday, February 8, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 8

 On this day in 1587Mary, Queen of Scots, is executed on suspicion of having been involved in the Babington Plot to murder her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I.


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On this day in 1600, the scholar Giordano Bruno becomes a Martyr for Science when the Pope orders him burned at the stake… but only after having his tongue nailed to his jaw, so he couldn't speak before the flames killed him. What was it that Honoré de Balzac said about mankind being truly free only after the last brick from the last cathedral crushes the last priest? Yeah… I think he got it about right.

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On this day in 1855, the Devil's Footprints mysteriously appear in southern Devon.

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Happy Traitor Day! It was on this day in 1861 that the Confederate States of America organized, in Montgomery, Alabama. 

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On this day in 1910, the Boy Scouts of America is incorporated by William D. Boyce.

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On this day in 1915, director D.W. Griffith's controversial film The Birth of a Nation premieres in Los Angeles.

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On this day in 1920, Swiss women fail to win the right to vote when a nation-wide referendum is held in which women are not allowed to vote. Why did they even bother?! 

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On this day in 1924, the first ever gas chamber execution takes place in Carson City, Nevada, when Chinese gangster Tong Lee is put to death for killing a rival gang member. Cyanide gas was adopted by Nevada as a more humane method of execution, as opposed to the traditional techniques of hanging, firing squad, electrocution, stoning, crucifixion, drawing and quartering, locomotive bisection, pressing with stones, the Brazen Head, the upside-down water chamber and the Drop from a Great Height. Personally, I think some prisons made the switch because the chamber was the only form of execution that allowed prisoners to beg for mercy, plead for their lives and scream in terror not just before, but also during the execution, thus providing a much needed dose of levity to an otherwise dour and solemn procedure.

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On this day in 1950, the Stasi, the secret police of East Germany, is established.

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On this day in 1952Elizabeth II is proclaimed Queen of the United Kingdom. Eight years later, on this day in 1960, the Queen issues an Order-in-Council, stating that she and her family would be known as the House of Windsor, and that her descendants will take the name "Mountbatten-Windsor".

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On this day in 1960, the first eight brass star plaques are installed in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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On this day in 1974, after 84 days in space, the crew of Skylab 4, the last crew to visit American space station Skylab, returns to Earth.

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On this day in 1993General Motors sues NBC after Dateline NBC allegedly rigs two crashes intended to demonstrate that some GM pickups can easily catch fire if hit in certain places. NBC settles the lawsuit the next day.

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On this day in 1994, actor Jack Nicholson goes "Jack Torrance", using a golf club to scare the be-Jesus out of a driver who cut him off in traffic. Meanwhile, across town, Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee is arrested when a loaded firearm is discovered in his carry-on bag at Los Angeles International Airport. I love L.A.!

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On this day in 1996, The U.S. Congress passes the Communications Decency Act... the dirty cocksuckers.

Friday, February 7, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 7

 


On this day in 1497, the so-called "bonfire of the vanities" occurs in which supporters of Girolamo Savonarola burn thousands of objects like cosmetics, art, and books in Florence, Italy.

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This day in 1929 sees the first publication of Buck Rogers, the first ever science-fiction comic strip, as well as Tarzan, one of the first ever adventure comic strips. Both become insanely popular, filling the heads of kids and adults alike with all sorts of crazy ideas.

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On this day in 1940, the second full length animated Walt Disney film, Pinocchio, premieres.

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On this day in 1962, the United States bans all Cuban imports and exports, including the world's finest cigars and rums. A quick trip across the border, either to Canada or Mexico, can get you those products.

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On this day in 1963, the price of a first class postage stamp goes from 4¢ to 5¢. Chaos ensues.

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On this day in 1964, a plane lands at New York's Kennedy Airport, carrying four shaggy headed young men infected with a highly contagious, virulent disease that will spread uncontrollably and ravage our nation for the better part of a decade. Which reminds me... have you been immunized against Beatlemania yet this year? If not, what are you waiting for?!

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Also on this day, in the year 1984, American astronaut Bruce McCandless steps out of the Challenger Space Shuttle and into the frozen black nothingness of outer space… without the nerve-calming balm of a tether. He is the first human being to do so, relying on the completely self-contained Manned Maneuvering Unit to slowly poke his way through the ultimate vacuum while performing the most harrowing, spectacular "extravehicular activities" yet accomplished. Dude flew over three hundred feet away from the shuttle! For those few, harrowing minutes, he was a frigging living satellite! On the "whatta trip!" scale, that shit must make LSD seem like Kool-Aid by comparison.

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On this day in 1986, twenty-eight years of one-family rule end in Haiti, when President Jean-Claude Duvalier flees the Caribbean nation. Five years later, on this day in 1991, Haiti's first democratically-elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, is sworn in. You can imagine how long THAT lasted.

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On this day in 1992, the Maastricht Treaty is signed, leading to the creation of the European Union.

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On this day in 1995, terrorist Ramzi Yousef, "mastermind" of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, is arrested in Islamabad, Pakistan.

Thursday, February 6, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 6

 


On this day in 1820, the first 86 African American immigrants sponsored by the American Colonization Society depart New York to start a settlement in present-day Liberia. An interesting idea that, well... let's just say, it didn't exactly turn out like most people hoped.

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 The board game Monopoly first hits the shelves on this day in 1935, smack dab in the middle of the Great Depression. Countless screaming family fist-fights ensue.

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On this day in 1959, at Cape Canaveral, Florida, the first successful test firing of a Titan intercontinental ballistic missile is accomplished. Jack Parsons, rocket scientists and acolyte of occultist Aleister Crowley, was instrumental in the creation of the multi-stage solid fuel propulsion platform that made this evil, potentially world-destroying weapon possible.

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On this day in 1979, the Supreme Court of Pakistan affirms the death sentence against Former Prime Minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, for allegedly rigging an election and killing a guy. In other words... he was FAR too liberal!

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On this day in 1988, basketballer Michael Jordan makes his signature slam dunk from the free throw line inspiring Air Jordan and the Jumpman logo.

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On this day in 1997, in an English courtroom, Diane Blood wins the right to use her dead husband's sperm. Later, some in the jury come to regret their decision, when it's discovered that Blood has used it to seal the cracks in her shower stall.

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 5

 


In April of 1937Adolph Hitler bombed the civilian population of Guernica, a tiny Basque village in northern Spain. This first-ever aerial bombardment of a civilian population center was viewed by the Nazis as bombing practice for the Luftwaffe, and was done on behalf of Spain's soon-to-be fascist dictator, Generalissimo Francisco Franco. Sixteen hundred people died as the high-explosives and incendiary bombs smashed all around. In the cold and silent mountains, Guernica burned for three days and nights.

When news of the bombings reached Paris, the city exploded in protest. Millions took to the streets in the biggest May Day marches in the history of the city. Pablo Picasso, that least political of modern artists, saw a newspaper featuring stark black and white photographs of the horrific devastation in his homeland, and was immediately seized with inspiration. He returned to his studio and began working on what would eventually turn out to be one of his greatest masterpieces. He entitled it, simply: Guernica 1937.

In 1985Nelson Rockefeller donated a reproduction of this magnificent painting to the United Nations building in New York City. Ever since, it has hung at the entrance of the Security Council, serving as a stark reminder of the kind of horror the United Nations was created to help prevent.

On January 27 of 2003, in an event eerily reminiscent of Attorney General John Ashcroft's covering up the bare-breasted statue of Lady Justice, United Nations staff hid the reproduction of Guernica behind a large blue curtain… and with good reason. You see, when members of the Security Council address the press after a meeting, Guernica hangs prominently in the background. And it was on this day in 2003 that Secretary of State Colin Powell went in front of the global community to lie his fucking ass off. And the last thing he needed while trying to make a case for launching a preemptive attack against Iraq - starting with a devastating "shock and awe" onslaught of up to 800 cruise missiles launched straight into the heart of Baghdad - was that damning canvas looming behind him like some grim specter of the unimaginable horrors he, and the administration he represented, seemed so desperate to unleash upon the world.


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On this day in 1852, the Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg, Russia, one of the largest and oldest museums in the world, opens to the public. In 2002, the remarkable film Russian Ark features this remarkable building in a single, remarkable, 2-hour "take".


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On this day in 1869, the largest alluvial gold nugget in history, called the Welcome Stranger, is found in Moliagul, Victoria, Australia.

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On this day in 1885, evil scumbag King Leopold II of Belgium establishes the Congo as a personal possession. A lot of very evil "firsts" happen there under his watch. This guy belongs on the same list as HitlerStalin and Mao.

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On this day in 1901, inventor Ed Prescott patents the centrifugal roller coaster, which is capable of sending thrill-seekers into a full-fledged upside-down loop-de-loop. Subsequent patents filed by Ed Prescott include the Barf Bag, the Puke Bib, and the Vomit Goggles.

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On this day in 1909, Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland announces the creation of Bakelite, the world's first synthetic plastic.

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On this day in 1918, American pilot Stephen W. Thompson shoots down a German airplane in the very first aerial "dogfight" victory by the U.S. military.

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On this day in 1918, the USSR officially begins separating church and state. Church nearly succumbs to post-operative complications.

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On this day in 1919, Hollywood titans Charlie ChaplinMary PickfordDouglas Fairbanks, and D.W. Griffith launch United Artists. It lasts until the late 70's, when Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate pretty much destroys it. Tom Cruise attempted to revive it years later, but nothing doing.

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On this day in 1937, President Franklin D. Roosevelt proposes a plan to enlarge the Supreme Court of the United States. It was not his proudest day.

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On this day in 1939Generalísimo Francisco Franco becomes the 68th "Caudillo de España", or Leader of Spain, a job he keeps for a very, very long time.

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On this day in 1958, a hydrogen bomb is lost by the US Air Force off the coast of Savannah, Georgia, never to be recovered. Wow. I wonder who's got a hold of it now?

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On this day in 1971, astronauts land on the moon in the Apollo 14 mission... or did they?! Um... yes. The answer is yes, they did.

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On this day in 1972, Bob Douglas becomes the first black man elected to Basketball's Hall of Fame. It is my considered opinion that this fact requires no further editorial manipulation to make it hilarious.

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On this day in 1973, the Hagar The Horrible comic strip hits the funny pages for the first time ever, proving once and for all that Vikings aren't really all that funny. I dunno… maybe it's the whole rape, pillage and murder thing.

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On this day in 1976, the swine flu outbreak begins at Fort Dix, New Jersey.

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On this day in the year 1988, in the first professional wrestling match to be aired on prime-time network television in 30 years, Andre the Giant defeats Hulk Hogan. Some observers believe this event triggered the regrettable pro-wrestling renaissance which continues to thrive to this very day. Interesting aside: recent studies have shown that up to 90% of backyard wrestlers are gay, even though most have no idea.

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On this day in 1989Kareem Abdul-Jabar becomes the first NBA player to score 38,000 career points. To put that achievement in perspective, that's almost four points for every chick Wilt Chamberlain ever banged.


By Source, Fair use, Link

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 4

 


On this day, in the year 1600Tycho Brahe and Johannes Kepler meet for the first time, on the outskirts of Prague. And if our schools still taught history, that might mean something to you.

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On this day in 1789George Washington is unanimously elected as the first President of the United States by the U.S. Electoral College.

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On this day in 1846, the first Mormon pioneers make their exodus from Nauvoo, Illinois, westward towards Utah Territory.

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On this day in 1861, representatives from South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, and Louisiana convene to establish the Confederate States of America. If this little nugget of historical trivia gets you all misty-eyed and nostalgic feeling... then you might be a redneck!

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On this day in 1974, 19-year-old newspaper heiress Patty Hearst is kidnapped from her Berkeley, California apartment by three armed members of the SLA, or Symbionese Liberation Army. The incident, in which Hearst is carried away, gagged and blindfolded, by three gun-blazing perps, was witnessed by dozens. A week later, the SLA demands that the Hearst family donate $70 in food to every needy person from Santa Rosa to Los Angeles, after which they would begin negotiations for Patty's release. Randolph Hearst hesitantly gave away some $2 million worth of food, but the SLA demands Heart pony up $4 million more. But then, three months later, in a taped statement, Patty Hearst declares that she has joined the SLA. Later, she takes part in a bank robbery in San Francisco, and another in Los Angeles. A month later, on May 17, police raid the SLA's headquarters, killing six of nine known members, but Patty and the others escape. Eventually, she gets caught, pleads brainwashing, gets sentenced to seven years anyway, eventually gets released, moves on to a second career starring in John Waters movies, then gets fully pardoned by Bill Clinton in 2001. She is currently working on the sequel to the most interesting movie she's ever been in, as star witness for the prosecution in her past 

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On this day in 1997, Theissman-winning grid-iron legend O.J. "the Juice" Simpson is found "liable" - as opposed to "guilty" - for the deaths of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Sugar, in a civil suit filed in the wake of the "not guilty" - as opposed to "innocent" - verdict, in his criminal trial. Sound confusing? It supposed to be! It's the LAW!

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On this day in 1998, Microsoft founder Bill Gates gets a pie thrown at his face in Belgium. HA-ha!

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On this day in 2004, Facebook, a mainstream online social networking site, is founded by Mark Zuckerberg.

Monday, February 3, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 3

 


On this day in 1377, more than 2,000 people of the Italian city of Cesena are slaughtered by Papal Troops (Cesena Bloodbath).

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On this day in 1451, Sultan Mehmed II inherits the throne of the Ottoman Empire.

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On this day in 1637, Tulip mania collapses in the United Provinces (now the Netherlands) as sellers could no longer find buyers for their bulb contracts.

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On this day in 1690, the colony of Massachusetts issues the first paper money in America.

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On this day in 1815, the world's first commercial cheese factory is established in Switzerland. Never before have so many people cut so much cheese at such close proximity to each other without starting a riot. 

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On this day in 1870, the Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified, guaranteeing voting rights to citizens regardless of race.

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On this day in 1887, Congress creates the Electoral Count Act to help avoid disputes during close national elections. Insert sarcastic snort of derision, here.

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On this day in 1953, a chimpanzee by the name of J. Fred Muggs becomes a media sensation when Dave Garroway hires him as a co-host for his Today Show, on NBC. After biting actress Martha "Big Mouth" Raye in 1954, Muggs is sent on an international good-will tour, prompting one surly Soviet propagandist to write: "A symbol of the American way of life, Muggs is necessary in order that the average American should not look into reports on rising taxes, and decreasing pay, but rather laugh at the funny mug of a chimpanzee." Ouch... Nice shot, Igor. 

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On this day in 1959, the music dies when 22-year-old seminal rock legend Buddy Holly, 17-year-old flash-in-the-pan Ritchie Valens, and 28-year-old rock novelty act J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson all perish when their plane crashes in Iowa a few minutes after taking off from Moorehead, Minnesota. Oh, if only the Grim Reaperhad taken Don McLean, instead! Then, instead of being known as "the day the music died," it would be known as "the day the guy who wrote The Day the Music Died died!"

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The Soviets land the first man-made object on the Moon on this day in 1966. It's the unmanned probe, Luna 9.

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On this day in 1971, New York Police Officer Frank Serpico is shot during a drug bust in Brooklyn and survives to later testify against police corruption. Many believe the incident proves that NYPD officers tried to kill him.

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On this day in 1989, a military coup overthrows Alfredo Stroessner, dictator of Paraguay since 1954.

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On this day in 1994, President Bill Clinton lifts the trade embargo against Vietnam. Purple-faced, spittle-flecked outrage ensues.

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On this day in the year 1998, ignoring speed and altitude restrictions, Marine Corps captain Richard Ashby Top-Guns his jet through a cable car line in northern Italy, plunging twenty tourists 375 feet to their deaths. On the bright side, I'm sure the view during their death-plunge was breathtaking. Also on this day in 1998, after being mocked on TV by then-governor George Dubya Bush ("Please don't kill me!"), Texas inmate Karla Faye Tucker is executed, becoming the first woman executed in the United States since 1984.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 1

 On this day in 1709, British sailor Alexander Selkirk is rescued after spending five years marooned on a desert island at his own request. His adventure - which mostly consists of eating bugs, masturbating and screaming at the mocking blue sky - becomes the stuff of literary legend when it's fictionalized by Daniel DeFoe in his novel Robinson Crusoe.


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On this day in 1790, in New York City, the Supreme Court of the United States convenes for the first time.

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On this day in 1884, the first volume (A to Ant) of the Oxford English Dictionary is published.

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On this day in 1920, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police begins operations.

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On this day in 1929, one Charles Rigoulet successfully "clean and jerks" 401 lbs, 6 oz. It's the first time that more than 400 lbs is lifted overhead in a sporting competition. Nowadays, that happens every Thursday at Oprah Winfrey's house.

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On this day in 1978, once-great film director Roman "the Tweenmaster" Polanski skips bail and runs away to France after pleading guilty to charges that he had sex with a 13-year-old girl in Jack Nicholson's hot-tub. Bad movies ensue.

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On this day in 2002, American journalist and South Asia Bureau Chief of the Wall Street Journal Daniel Pearl, kidnapped January 23, 2002, is beheaded and mutilated by his captors.

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On this day in 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia on mission STS-107 disintegrates during reentry into the Earth's atmosphere, killing all seven astronauts aboard.

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On this day in 2004, 251 people are trampled to death and 244 injured in a stampede at the Hajj pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia.

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On this day in 2004Janet Jackson's breast is exposed during the half-time show of Super Bowl XXXVIII, resulting in US broadcasters adopting a stronger adherence to Federal Communications Commission censorship guidelines.

Friday, January 31, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 31

 


On this day in 1696, the creepiest protest ever takes place when Amsterdam's undertakers take to the streets to demonstrate against proposed funeral reforms.

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On this day in 1928, 3-M Company begins marketing Scotch Tape. Yer old pal Jerky's still waiting for Sour Mash Bourbon Tape. 

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On this day in 1945, draftee Eddie Slovik becomes the first American to be executed for desertion since the Civil War. Nowadays, desertion gets you... ummm... well... into the White House, apparently

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Also on this day, in 1964, a government report publicly confirms the rumors that had been swirling around the water coolers for years... that smoking cigarettes(i.e. taking a paper tube full of crushed tobacco plant leaves, lighting said tube on fire and inhaling the resultant aromatic smoke deeply into your lungs as a means of delivering minute payloads of deadly nicotine poison into your bloodstream) might not be quite so beneficial to one's health as we were originally led to believe.

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Ding dong, it's the Viet Cong! Ho Chi Mihn's revolutionary army launches the Tet Offensive on this day in 1968. Chaos ensues.

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On this day in 1990, McDonald's opens their first restaurant in post-Soviet Russia. Mindful of the local palette, this franchise features such unique fare as McStroganoffMcBorscht and Chicken McKiev.
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On this day in 1969, hippy-freak rock-and-roll band The Beatles perform their final live concert together. And who can forget the stirring image of John, Paul,George and Ringo playing that historic 42-minute set to a rapt audience from the roof of their Apple Records headquarters? Certainly not Ewe Too, those fuckin' copycats!

Thursday, January 30, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 30

 


The first ever jazz record – Dark Town Strutter's Ball – is recorded on this day in 1917. Reefer madness and wanton miscegenation ensue.

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This day in 1922 was the first ever World Law Day. Hooray for laws! 

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German President von Hindenburg appoints Adolf Hitler chancellor on this day in 1933. The mustachio'd madman quickly sets about expending political capital in the service of his mandate.

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On this day in 1935, "genius" poet Ezra Pound meets with Italian Fascist dictator Benito "Benji" Mussolini. During their meeting, Pound reads a selection from his epic, convoluted poem-cycle, Cantos. For those of you who haven't read Pound, but have read The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, know this: the Vorlons had nothing on this guy.

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You thought the Titanic was a disaster? On this day in 1945, the German cruise liner Wilhelm Gustloff is torpedoed by a Soviet sub. It was headed westward at the time, in order to escape the surging Soviet advance, and was thus jam-packed with over ten thousand people - men, women and children - non-combatant refugees of war. An incredible nine thousand three hundred and forty three people died in the freezing Baltic that night, making this the single worst catastrophe at sea in the history of maritime travel. And, if you're anything like the twenty-odd random people I've asked today, this is probably the first time you've ever heard about it. Pretty freaky, huh?

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On this day in 1948, Indian spiritual and political leader Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi is assassinated by a Hindu fanatic who objects to the Mahatma's tolerance of Muslims. Thank you, Vishnu! And, finally, also on this day - only in the year 1956 this time - some pillars of the community drive out to Ghandi-fan Martin Luther King Jr's home... and fire-bomb it. Thank you, J. Edgar Hoover!

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On this day in 1972, a sunny Sunday in Londonderry, Northern Ireland, thirteen unarmed Catholic civil rights demonstrators are massacred by British Army paratroopers in an event that becomes known as Bloody Sunday, or Sunday, Bloody Sunday to fans of peat-eating bog-rockers Ewe Too. Since 1969, sectarian conflicts in Northern Ireland have claimed more than 3,000 lives. Thank you, Jeebus!

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On this day in 1976, soon-to-be-vice-president George Herbert Walker"Poppy" Bush is appointed by then-president Gerald Ford to head up the CIA. Despite evidence that he had been a CIA agent since before the Bay of Pigs fiasco, Bush has claimed he never worked for the agency prior to this appointment. Yeah... Right.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 29

 


On this day in 904Sergius III comes out of retirement to take over the papacy from the deposed antipope Christopher.

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On this day in 1845, "The Raven" is published in the New York Evening Mirror, the first publication with the name of the author, Edgar Allan Poe.

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On this day in 1886, the first ever gasoline-driven car is patented by Karl Benz, in Germany. Fly rides ensue.

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On this day in 1891Liliuokalani is proclaimed Queen of Hawaii, its last monarch.

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On this day in 1959, Cuba's highly corrupt and unpopular Batista regime crumbles. Dictator Fulgencio Batista flees the country, and revolutionary leader Fidel Castro steps up, immediately earning the undying enmity of his neighbors to the direct northwest. Through decades of naval blockades, trade embargoes, CIA assassination attempts and other assorted fuckery, Castro endured, outlasting nine Presidents and communism's worldwide collapse, ending up as one of the superstars whose deaths made 2016 one of the darkest in living memory. Hard not to respect the guy, considering all that!

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On this day in 1967, the proclaimed "ultimate high" of the hippie era, the Mantra-Rock Dance, takes place in San Francisco and features Janis JoplinGrateful Dead, and Allen Ginsberg.

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On this day in 1976, the world-famous Zeiss Planetarium in the Netherlands is burned to the ground after a Laser Floyd show gets out of hand.

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 On this day in 1987, CIA director William J. Casey steps down after six years spent managing Black Ops, Wet Ops and Psy Ops for the Bush/Reagan regime. Lucky break for Bush the Elder that Casey should die just two days before he was scheduled to testify in the Iran/Contra hearings.

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On this day in 1996, President Jacques Chirac announces a "definitive end" to French nuclear weapons testing.

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On this day in the year 1998, pro-life terrorists score one for Jesus in Birmingham, Alabama, when they bomb an abortion clinic, killing a police officer and severely mutilating and blinding a receptionist.

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On this day in 2002, In his State of the Union address, President George W. Bush describes "regimes that sponsor terror" as an Axis of evil, in which he includes Iraq, Iran and North Korea.

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 28

 


On this day in 1099, the first wave of Christian Crusaders begin their siege of Hosn-el-Akrad, in Syria. It's rough going in the early days, but everything works out fine in the end.

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On this day in 1495, after asking himself "WWJD?", the Pope hands over his son -- Cesare Borgia -- to the French, as a hostage. That was back in the day when Popes were allowed to fuck. Faith Based Family Values in action!

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On this day in 1547Edward VI becomes King of England at a mere 9 years of age. Refusing to be outdone by a bunch of turnip-munchers, the Swedish promptly drown their own King in a septic pit. Adhering to the strictures of primogenital succession, that meant the crown passed on to the dead King's eldest son, who was still weeks away from being born at the time. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes during the coronation ceremony, when the Queen dies of massive internal bleeding.

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 On this day in 1915, President Woodrow Wilson refuses to prohibit the immigration of illiterates. The ongoing consequences of Woody's short-sightedness were brought into sharp relief during the presidential election of 2004.

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On this day in 1953, a chimp by the name of J Fred Muggs joins the on-air staff of NBC's Today Show. That was back in the days when journalistic standards actually meant something. Nowadays, they pretty much let any idiot appear on the telly. See Bill O'ReillyJoe Scarborough and Sean Hannity for proof of that.
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On this day in 1981, President Ronald Reagan appoints William J. Casey as the 13th director of the CIA. He serves with distinction until 1987, when he dies of a brain tumor two days before his scheduled testimony before the Senate in regards to the Iran/Contraaffair. Unlucky 13 strikes again!

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 On this day in 1986, at 11:38 a.m., the space shuttle Challenger launches from Cape Canaveral, Florida, rising towards the frozen void on a column of solid flame. Hitching a ride on board is high school teacher Christa McAuliffe, the first civilian to ever go into outer space. Seventy-three seconds after ignition, an O-ring fails to expand sufficiently, precipitating a chain reaction that leads to the total destruction of the multibillion-dollar vehicle and its crew of seven. Video footage of the "major malfunction" served as the most impressive widescreen, real-life special-effects tragedy since the Kennedy assassination twenty-three years earlier. Such video gravitas was not felt again until 9-11-2001, which swallowed the memory of Columbia whole, in its awesome and growing shadow.

Monday, January 27, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 27

 



On this day in 98Trajan succeeded his adoptive father Nerva as Roman emperor; under his rule the Roman Empire would reach its maximum extent.

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On this day in 1593, the Vatican opens the seven-year trial of scholar Giordano Bruno.

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On this day in 1606, the trial of Guy Fawkes and other conspirators begins, ending with their execution on January 31.

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On this day in 1825, the U.S. Congress approves Indian Territory (in what is present-day Oklahoma), clearing the way for forced relocation of the Eastern Indians on the "Trail of Tears".

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On this day in 1945, the Red Army liberates the remained inmates of the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp built by the Nazi Germans on the territory of Poland.

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On this day in 1967, on the same day that the UK, USA and USSR sign the Outer Space Treaty in Washington DC banning deployment of nuclear weapons in space, astronauts Gus GrissomEdward White and Roger Chaffee are killed in a fire during a test of their Apollo 1 spacecraft at the Kennedy Space Center, Florida.

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On this day in 1973, the Paris Peace Accords officially end the Vietnam War. Colonel William Nolde is killed in action becoming the conflict's last recorded American combat casualty.

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On this day in 1980, through cooperation between the U.S. and Canadian governments, six American diplomats secretly escape hostilities in Iran in the culmination of the Canadian Caper. This event is the basis of the film Argo.

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On this day in 1984, pop singer Michael Jackson suffers second degree burns to his scalp during the filming of a Pepsi commercial in the Shrine Auditorium.

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On this day in 1993, American-born sumo wrestler Akebono Tarō becomes the first foreigner to be promoted to the sport's highest rank of yokozuna.

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On this day in 1996, Germany first observes International Holocaust Remembrance Day.

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On this day in 2002, an explosion at a military storage facility in Lagos, Nigeria, kills at least 1,100 people and displaces over 20,000 others.

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On this day in 2013, 242 people die in a nightclub fire in the city of Santa Maria, Brazil.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 26

 



On this day in 1531, Lisbon, Portugal is hit by an earthquake. Thousands die.

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On this day in 1841, the United Kingdom formally occupies Hong Kong, which China later formally cedes.

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On this day in 1934, the Apollo Theater reopens in Harlem, New York City.

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On this day in 1961John F. Kennedy appoints Janet G. Travell to be his physician. This is the first time a woman holds the appointment of Physician to the President.

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On this day in 1980, Israel and Egypt establish diplomatic relations.

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On this day in 1992Boris Yeltsin announces that Russia will stop targeting United States cities with nuclear weapons.

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On this day in 1998, U.S. President Bill Clinton goes on TV and denies having had "sexual relations" with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

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On this day in 2004, President Hamid Karzai signs the new constitution of Afghanistan.

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On this day in 2004, a whale explodes in the town of Tainan, Taiwan. A build-up of gas in the decomposing sperm whale is suspected of causing the explosion.

Saturday, January 25, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 25

 


On this day in 1881Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell form the Oriental Telephone Company.

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On this day in 1890Nellie Bly completes her round-the-world journey in 72 days.

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On this day in 1919 the League of Nations is founded.

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On this day in 1924, the 1924 Winter Olympics opens in Chamonix, in the French Alps, inaugurating the first ever Winter Olympic Games.

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On this day in 1947Thomas Goldsmith Jr. files a patent for a "Cathode Ray Tube Amusement Device", the first ever electronic game.

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On this day in 1971Charles Manson and three female "Family" members are found guilty of the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders.

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On this day in 1971Idi Amin leads a coup deposing Milton Obote and becomes Uganda's president.

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On this day in 1981Jiang Qing, the widow of Mao Zedong, is sentenced to death.

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On this day in 1993, five people are shot outside the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia. Two are killed and three wounded.

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On this day in 1995, Russia almost launches a nuclear attack after it mistakes Black Brant XII, a Norwegian research rocket, for a US Trident missile.

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On this day in 1996, Billy Bailey becomes the last person to be hanged in the USA.

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On this day in 1998, during a historic visit to Cuba, Pope John Paul II demands political reforms and the release of political prisoners while condemning US attempts to isolate the country. Meanwhile, in the States, everybody loses their goddamn minds over a blowjob.

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On this day in 2005, a stampede at the Mandhradevi temple in Maharashtra, India kills at least 258.

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On this day in 2011, the first wave of the Egyptian revolution begins in Egypt, with a series of street demonstrations, marches, rallies, acts of civil disobedience, riots, labour strikes, and violent clashes in Cairo, Alexandria, and throughout other cities in Egypt.

Friday, January 24, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 24

 


On this day in 41 AD, Roman Emperor Caligula, known for his eccentricity and sadistic despotism, is assassinated by his disgruntled Praetorian Guards. The Guard then proclaims Caligula's uncle Claudius as Emperor

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On this day in 661Caliph Ali, son-in-law of Muhammad, is assassinated and his followers (Shiites) break from the majority Muslim group.

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On this day in 1908, the first Boy Scout troop is organized in England by Robert Baden-Powell.

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On this day in 1916, in Brushaber v. Union Pacific Railroad, the Supreme Court of the United States declares the federal income tax constitutional.

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On this day in 1939, the deadliest earthquake in Chilean history strikes Chillán, killing approximately 28,000 people.

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On this day in 1961, a bomber carrying two H-bombs breaks up in mid-air over North Carolina. The uranium core of one weapon remains lost.

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On this day in 1972, Japanese Sgt. Shoichi Yokoi is found hiding in a Guam jungle, where he had been since the end of World War II.

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On this day in 1978, the Soviet satellite Cosmos 954, with a nuclear reactor on board, burns up in Earth's atmosphere, scattering radioactive debris over Canada's Northwest Territories. Only 1% is recovered.

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On this day in 1990, Japan launches Hiten, the country's first lunar probe, the first robotic lunar probe since the Soviet Union's Luna 24 in 1976, and the first lunar probe launched by a country other than Soviet Union or the United States.

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On this day in 2003, the United States Department of Homeland Security officially begins operation.

Thursday, January 23, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 23

 


On this day in 971, in China, the war elephant corps of the Southern Han are soundly defeated at Shao by crossbow fire from Song Dynasty troops.

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On this day in 1368, in a coronation ceremony, Zhu Yuanzhang ascends the throne of China as the Hongwu Emperor, initiating Ming Dynasty rule over China that would last for three centuries.

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On this day in 1546, having published nothing for eleven years, François Rabelais publishes the Tiers Livre, his sequel to Gargantua and Pantagruel.

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On this day in 1556, the deadliest earthquake in history, the Shaanxi earthquake, hits Shaanxi province, China. The death toll may have been as high as 830,000.
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On this day in 1570James Stewart, 1st Earl of Moray, regent for the infant King James VI of Scotland, is assassinated by firearm, the first recorded instance of such.

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On this day in 1719, the Principality of Liechtenstein is created within the Holy Roman Empire.

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On this day in 1849Elizabeth Blackwell is awarded her M.D. by the Geneva Medical College of Geneva, New York, becoming the United States' first female doctor.

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On this day in 1855, the first bridge over the Mississippi River opens in what is now Minneapolis, Minnesota, a crossing made today by the Hennepin Avenue Bridge.

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On this day in 1870, in Montana, U.S. cavalrymen kill 173 Native Americans, mostly women and children, in what becomes known as the Marias Massacre.

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On this day in 1897Elva Zona Heaster is found dead in Greenbrier County, West Virginia. The resulting murder trial of her husband is perhaps the only case in United States history where the alleged testimony of a ghost helped secure a conviction.

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On this day in 1937, in Moscow, 17 leading Communists go on trial accused of participating in a plot led by Leon Trotsky to overthrow Joseph Stalin's regime and assassinate its leaders.

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On this day in 1941Charles Lindbergh testifies before the U.S. Congress and recommends that the United States negotiate a neutrality pact with Adolf Hitler.

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On this day in 1943Duke Ellington plays at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the first time.

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On this day in 1957, American inventor Walter Frederick Morrison sells the rights to his flying disc to the Wham-O toy company, which later renames it the "Frisbee".

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On this day in 1968, North Korea seizes the USS Pueblo, claiming the ship had violated its territorial waters while spying.

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On this day in 1986, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts its first members: Little RichardChuck BerryJames BrownRay CharlesFats Domino, the Everly BrothersBuddy HollyJerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley.

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On this day in 1997Madeleine Albright becomes the first woman to serve as United States Secretary of State.

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On this day in 2002, "American Taliban" John Walker Lindh returns to the United States in FBI custody.

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On this day in 2003, Earth receives its final communication from the Pioneer 10 probe.

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 22

 



On this day in 1506, the first contingent of 150 Swiss Guards arrives at the Vatican.

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On this day in 1521, Emperor Charles V opens the Diet of Worms. Ew…

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On this day in 1555, the Ava Kingdom falls to the Taungoo Dynasty in what is now present-day Burma.

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On this day in 1824, the Ashantis defeat British forces in the Gold Coast.

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On this day in 1879, during Anglo-Zulu War, two major battles take place. First, the Battle of Isandlwana, in which Zulu troops decisively defeat British troops. In the Battle of Rorke's Drift, however, 139 British soldiers successfully defend their garrison against an onslaught by three to four thousand Zulu warriors.

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On this day in 1901Edward VII is proclaimed King after the death of his mother, Queen Victoria, thus ushering in the Edwardian Age.

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On this day in 1915, over 600 people are killed in Guadalajara, Mexico, when a train plunges off the tracks into a deep canyon.

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On this day in 1924Ramsay MacDonald becomes the first Labour Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

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On this day in 1946, the Central Intelligence Group – an offshoot of OSS and forerunner of the CIA – is inaugurated.

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On this day in 1957, the New York City "Mad Bomber", George P. Metesky, is arrested in Waterbury, Connecticut and is charged with planting more than 30 bombs.

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On this day in 1973, the Supreme Court of the United States delivers its decisions in Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton, legalizing elective abortion in all fifty states. Until the orange menace...

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On this day in 1984, the Apple Macintosh, the first consumer computer to popularize the computer mouse and the graphical user interface, is introduced during Super Bowl XVIII with its famous "1984" television commercial.

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On this day in 1987, Pennsylvania politician R. Budd Dwyer shoots and kills himself during a televised press conference, leading to debates on boundaries in journalism.

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On this day in 1999, Australian missionary Graham Staines and his two sons are burned alive by radical Hindus while sleeping in their car in Eastern India.

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On this day in 2002, Kmart becomes the largest retailer in United States history to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

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On this day in 2006Evo Morales is inaugurated as President of Bolivia, becoming the country's first indigenous president.

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 21

 



On this day in 1789, the first American novel, The Power of Sympathy or the Triumph of Nature Founded in Truth, is printed in Boston, Massachusetts.

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On this day in 1793, after being found guilty of treason by the French Convention, Louis XVI of France is executed by guillotine.

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On this day in 1908, New York City passes the Sullivan Ordinance, making it illegal for women to smoke in public, only to have the measure vetoed by the mayor.

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On this day in 1915, Kiwanis International is founded in Detroit, Michigan.

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On this day in 1948, the Flag of Quebec is adopted and flown for the first time over the National Assembly of Quebec. The day is marked annually as Quebec Flag Day.

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On this day in 1950, American lawyer and government official Alger Hiss is convicted of perjury.

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On this day in 1961, 435 workers are buried alive when a mine in Coalbrook, Free State collapses.

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On this day in 1968, the Battle of Khe Sanh - one of the most publicized and controversial battles of the war – begins.

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On this day in 1968, a B-52 bomber crashes near Thule Air Base, contaminating the area after its nuclear payload ruptures. One of the four bombs remains unaccounted for after the cleanup operation is complete.

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On this day in 1976, commercial service of Concorde begins with the London-Bahrain and Paris-Rio routes.

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On this day in 1977, President Jimmy Carter pardons nearly all American Vietnam War draft evaders, some of whom had emigrated to Canada.

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On this day in 1981, production of the iconic DeLorean DMC-12 sports car begins in Dunmurry, Northern Ireland.

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On this day in 1997, the U.S. House of Representatives votes 395–28 to reprimand Newt Gingrich for ethics violations, making him the first Speaker of the House to be so disciplined.

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On this day in 1999, one of the largest drug busts in American history takes place when the Coast Guard intercepts a ship with over nearly FIVE TONS of cocaine on board. Any connection with the DeLorean story above is purely coincidental.

Monday, January 20, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 20

 On this day in 250, Roman Emperor Decius begins a widespread persecution of Christians. Pope Fabian is martyred.


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On this day in 1920, the American Civil Liberties Union is founded.

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On this day in 1921, one of the greatest "downsizings" in history happens when the nation of Turkey is cobbled together from the smashed fragments and still-smouldering embers of the Ottoman Empire.

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On this day in 1954, the National Negro Network is established with 40 charter member radio stations. Needless to say, they played ALL the best records.

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On this day in 1961, renowned poet Robert Frost recites his poem "The Gift Outright" at John F. Kennedy's inauguration. Afterwards, JFK takes Frost back to the Oval Office and fucks his brains out. Or not.

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On this day in 1971, former Beatle John Lennon meets Yoko Ono's parents in Japan. Badly garbled babbling ensues.

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On this day in 1977, having laid the groundwork for the evil to come, George Herbert "Poppy" Walker Bush ends his term as CIA director.

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On this day in 1981, during the very instant that Ronald Reagan is being sworn in as President of the United States, 52 American hostages are freed after being held hostage for 444 days in Iran. Does this incredible coincidence lend credence to the proposition that Reagan/Bush and their "Secret Team" CIA cronies brokered a deal with the hostage-takers, getting them to agree NOT to release the hostages before the election, therefore reducing Carter's chance of scoring an "October Surprise" release, increasing voter dissatisfaction with Carter and increasing the chances that they would vote for the foreign policy hardliner Republicans? You be the judge.

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On this day in 1989Ronald Reagan becomes the first President elected in a "0" year since 1840 to leave office alive. For reals, yo.

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On this day in 1991, the media informs the American public that Patriot missiles have successfully begun shooting down Iraqi "Scud" missiles. Ten years later, investigations would expose the lie. During the entire Gulf War, the Patriot didn't bring down a single Scud.

Sunday, January 19, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 19

 



On this day in 1915Georges Claude patents the neon discharge tube for use in advertising.

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On this day in 1915, German zeppelins bomb the towns of Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn in the United Kingdom killing more than 20, in the first major aerial bombardment of a civilian target.

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On this day in 1953, 71.7% of all television sets in the United States are tuned into I Love Lucy to watch Lucy give birth.

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On this day in 1955Scrabble - a game in which players accumulate points by spelling words with randomly distributed letter tiles - first hits department store shelves. When playing this game, yer old pal Jerky likes to challenge himself by only using words you're not allowed to say on television.

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On this day in the year 1971, the BeatlesHelter Skelter is played in the courtroom where the case against Charles Manson is being heard. During one of their bloody midnight massacres, Manson's brood had scrawled the words "helter sketer" (sic) on a mirror, in their victims' blood. You know, if the same thing happened today, the Tate and LaBianca families probably would have filed a class action lawsuit against JohnPaulGeorge and Ringo, claiming they were partly responsible for the deaths of their loved ones, and should be made to pay accordingly. Anyway, after prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi plays the record, the jury are unanimous in their decision that it's got a good beat, and that they can dance to it. They give it a "9", Dick.

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On this day in 1981, United States and Iranian officials sign an agreement to release 52 American hostages after 14 months of captivity.

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On this day in 1983, Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie is arrested in Bolivia.

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On this day in 1983, the Apple Lisa, the first commercial personal computer from Apple Inc. to have a graphical user interface and a computer mouse, is announced.

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On this day in 1986, the first IBM PC computer virus is released into the wild. A boot sector virus dubbed (c)Brain, it was created by the Farooq Alvi Brothers in Lahore, Pakistan, reportedly to deter piracy of the software they had written.

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On this day in 2006, the New Horizons probe is launched by NASA on the first mission to Pluto, or Yuggoth, as it's known to those of us in the deep, dark know.

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On this day in 2012Kim DotCom's Hong Kong-based file-sharing website Megaupload is shut down by the FBI. Quite the story, that...

Saturday, January 18, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 18

 


America's first recorded UFO sighting happens on this day in 1644, when a bunch of Boston Pilgrims report seeing a strange glowing object in the night sky. Later that same night, they burn a few witches, just to be on the safe side.

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On this day in 1788, the First Fleet arrives at Botany Bay in Australia from England, carrying 736 convicts... the rough common soil from which all future generations of Ozzies would sprout.

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On this day in 1911, pilot Eugene B. Ely lands on the deck of the USS Pennsylvania stationed in San Francisco Bay, the first time an aircraft landed on a ship.

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The American military begins spraying Agent Orange on the Vietnamese jungle on this day in 1962, in a failed attempt to reveal the Viet Cong guerrillas who'd been using the dense foliage as cover. Flipper-babies ensue.

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On this day in 1967, Boston Strangler Albert DeSalvo is convicted of numerous crimes and is sentenced to life imprisonment.

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On this day in 1974 The Six Million Dollar Man premiered on ABC TV. One year later, All in the Family spin-off The Jeffersons makes its debut on CBS. Still another year after that, the two shows would combine creative teams to film a pilot for a whole new concept in action/comedy TV: The Six Million Dollar Black Man. It failed miserably... because racism.

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After being embraced by the gay community, the AIDS charity song That's What Friends Are For reaches the top of the charts on this day in 1986. Gays didn't care much for the record's now forgotten b-side - That's What Friends AREN'T For - featuring a Ronald Reagan sound-a-like imploring "you people" to "abstain from unprotected anal sex", over a military band's instrumental rendition of America the Beautiful.

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On this day in 1990, Washington DC mayor Marion Barry is arrested during a joint sting operation by the FBI and DC police. After being arrested, he is charged with drug possession and the use of crack cocaine. After trial, he was sentenced to six months in prison for possession. By 1994, Barry was back as mayor for an unprecedented fourth term. He remained mayor until 1999, when he retired and moved to the countryside where he lives to this day in a house made entirely out of crack.

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On this day in 1991, the United States government acknowledges the CIA had forked out over three hundred thousand dollars to Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega for a variety of services rendered. The American people momentarily wonder "Who?" - then shrug and go back to watching Dynasty or whatever the fuck mind-destroying crap was on TV back then.

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On this day in the year 1996, Scientology priestess and daughter of the King of Rock, Lisa Marie Presley files for divorce from Underoo-snorting King of Pop, Michael Jackson. You know, if two sweet kids like this can't make a go of it in this hard-boiled, workaday world, then what chance do any of us have?!

Friday, January 17, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 17

 



On this day in 1562, France recognizes the Protestant "Huguenots" by the Edict of Saint-Germain. No, not that Saint-Germain.

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On this day in 1873, a group of Modoc warriors defeats the United States Army in the First Battle of the Stronghold, part of the Modoc War. Holy crap... there was a Modoc War?! How come nobody told me?!

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On this day in 1893, a bunch of sugar plantation owners led by Sanford "Pineapple" Dole hire some mercenaries to overthrow Hawaii's Queen Liliuokalani, establishing a new "provincial" government with Dole as president. This coup had the indirect approval of the American government at the time, and 300 Marines based at Pearl Harbor took part. Later that same year, Congress refused to bring Hawaii in as an official protectorate, and president Grover Cleveland tried to restore Queen Liliuokalani to the throne. But Dole refused to step aside, proclaiming himself ruler of the Independent Republic of Hawaii. As long as it didn't affect the flow of sugar, Cleveland didn't give a fuck, so it was left to his successor, William McKinley, to negotiate a treaty after the base at Pearl Harbor proved to be so valuable during the Spanish American War. So now you know about Hawaii!

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On this day in 1929Popeye the Sailor Man, a cartoon character created by Elzie Segar, first appears in the Thimble Theatre comic strip.

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On this day in 1945, Swedish diplomat and Jewish hero Raoul Wallenberg is taken into Soviet custody while in Hungary; he is never publicly seen again.

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On this day in 1961, U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower delivers a televised farewell address to the nation three days before leaving office, in which he warns against the accumulation of power by the military-industrial complex. You can watch his speech right now. If you haven't yet, you should. Meanwhile, over in the Congo, on this same day, former Congolese Prime Minister Patrice Lumumba is murdered in circumstances suggesting the support and complicity of the governments of Belgium and the CIA.


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On this day in 1977, convicted murderer Gary Gilmore is executed by a firing squad in Utah, ending a ten-year moratorium on capital punishment in the United States.

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On this day in 1984, the United States Supreme Court rules in the groundbreaking Sony versus Universal case. Sony wins by a 5-4 squeaker, and from that point on, you and I have been free to videotape programs off the television without fear of being arrested for copyright infringement. Just for the record, our current Supreme Court Chief Justice - ultraconservative Republican appointee William Rehnquist - voted against a citizen's right to videotape television programs.

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On this day in 1989Patrick Purdy opens fire with an assault rifle at the Cleveland Elementary School playground in Stockton, California, killing five children and wounding 29 others and one teacher before taking his own life.

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On this day in 1991, Operation Desert Storm begins early in the morning. Iraq fires 8 Scud missiles into Israel in an unsuccessful bid to provoke Israeli retaliation.

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"We so solly!" On this day in 1992, during a visit to South Korea, Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa apologizes for forcing Korean women into sexual slavery during World War II.

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On this day in 1998, snivelling, closeted, pseudo-journalist and egg fetishist Matt Drudge "breaks" the story of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair on his website The Drudge Report. And by "breaks the story", we mean he was fed the story by a very real, very active Vast Right Wing Conspiracy to bring down the Clinton Presidency by any means necessary. Watch the second chapter of the great Adam Curtis documentary The Power of Nightmares HERE to find out what REALLY happened.

Thursday, January 16, 2025

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JANUARY 16

 


On this day in 1412, the Medici family is appointed official banker of the Vatican and the Papacy.

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On this day in 1581, the English Parliament outlaws Roman Catholicism.

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The Color Note Organ is patented on this day in 1877, roughly 90 years before the psychedelic revolution of the 1960's would make such a thing marketable.

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On this day in 1909, explorer Ernest Shackleton's expedition finds the magnetic South Pole.

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On this day in 1919, the United States ratifies the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, authorizing Prohibition in the United States one year after ratification.

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On this day in 1920, prohibition becomes the law of the land, thus beginning America's thirteen year run as a "dry" country. Just like the War On Drugs, the War On Booze didn't (and doesn't) fucking work. 

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On this day in 1945, Nazi Man-God Adolf Hitler moves into his underground bunker, the so-called Führerbunker.

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On this day in 1969, Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 4 and Soyuz 5 perform the first-ever docking of manned spacecraft in orbit, the first-ever transfer of crew from one space vehicle to another, and the only time such a transfer was accomplished with a space walk.

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On this day in 1970, genius inventor Buckminster Fuller receives the Gold Medal award from the American Institute of Architects.

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On this day in 1973, a young girl named Anna Christian Waters disappears from her backyard. She has yet to be found. See above.

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On this day in 1976Peter Frampton releases Frampton Comes Alive, which is still the biggest selling live album of all time. I mean come on, people!

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On this day in 1979Shah Reza Pahlevi - installed as a convenient figurehead for the puppet regime installed by the CIA after they deposed the democratically-elected Mohammed Mossadegh for trying to nationalize his nation's petroleum industry - is chased out of Iran in the wake of a massive nationalist/fundamentalist uprising led by Ayatollah Khomeni. Oopsy-daisy!

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After finally getting over that whole excommunicating the king thing, England re-establishes full diplomatic relations with the Vatican on this day in 1982. Way to hold a grudge, guys!

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On this day, in 1988Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder is fired from ABC Sports when he goes on the air and attempts to explain black dominance in football. "During the slave period," he bloviated, "the slave owner would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have a big black kid - that's where it all started." The statement, it turns out, was both politically and scientifically incorrect. Scientists have since figured out that what really gives blacks the edge in sports... is watermelons!

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On this day in 1991Operation Desert Storm debuts on TV screens around the world. The ratings are killer.

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On this day in 2003, Space Shuttle Columbia takes off for mission STS-107 which would be its final one. Columbia disintegrates on re-entry 16 days later, spreading its debris over a wide terrain which includes part of Preznit Dubya's Texas ranch. What are the freaking odds?

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On this day in 2006Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is sworn in as Liberia's new president. She becomes Africa's first female elected head of state.