PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 25

It was on this day in 240 BC that ancient astronomers first recorded the perihelion passage of the celestial body that would eventually come to be known as Halley's Comet. Clear records of its appearances had been made by Chinese, Babylonian, and medieval European chroniclers over time, but it wasn't until 1705 that Edmond Halley realized it was the same object making return trips to our Solar System once every 75 years or so. Halley's Comet's last fly-by took place in 1986, and it won't be back until 2061.

***

On this day in 1521, rogue cleric Martin Luther is declared an outlaw by Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who ends the Diet of Worms by declaring the Edict of Worms: "For this reason we forbid anyone from this time forward to dare, either by words or by deeds, to receive, defend, sustain, or favor the said Martin Luther. On the contrary, we want him to be apprehended and punished as a notorious heretic, as he deserves, to be brought personally before us, or to be securely guarded until those who have captured him inform us, where upon we will order the appropriate manner of proceeding against the said Luther. Those who will help in his capture will be rewarded generously for their good work." To protect him, Prince Frederick of Saxony had Martin Luther kidnapped and hidden away in Wartburg Castle. Jeez... warts, worms... this story is making me nauseous. Let's move on, shall we?

***

On this day in 1895, playwright, poet, and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. While at Reading Gaol, he writes De Profundis, essentially one of the best-written break-up letters of all time.

***

On this day in 1926, Jewish anarchist Sholom Schwartzbard assassinates Symon Petliura, the head of the Paris-based government-in-exile of the Ukrainian People's Republic, ostensibly in retaliation for the latter's failure to prevent anti-Semitic pogroms in his former homeland during his two-year reign (1918-20).

***

On this day in 1953, the United States military conducts their first - and final - nuclear artillery test, at the Nevada Test Site. Fired as part of Operation Upshot-Knothole and code named Shot GRABLE, a 280 mm shell with a gun-type fission warhead was fired 6.2 miles and detonated 525 feet above the ground with an estimated yield of 15 kilotons. The shell was 4.5 feet long and weighed 805 lbs. It was fired from a special, very large, artillery piece, nicknamed Atomic Annie. About 3,200 soldiers and civilians were present to witness the impressive fireworks display.

***

On this day in 1961, President John F. Kennedy announces before a special joint session of the Congress his goal to initiate a project to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade. Some people believe we made it, but a growing number beg to differ. Personally, whether we got to leave our footprints on the Moon or not, I think the whole thing was just a feel-good cover story for pouring billions into the development of Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles... but what do I know?

***

On this day in 1986, a massive public event featuring a boatload of creepy participants taking part in an activity that is more than a little reminiscent of a massive occult ritual takes place. I refer, of course, to Hands Across America. I shudder to think what would have happened if the opposite ends of such a tremendous human circle had come together, Ouroboros-style. Perhaps...

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 17

On this day in 1397, Geoffrey Chaucer begins telling his Canterbury Tales for the first time at the court of Richard II. Chaucer scholars have also identified this date (in 1387) as the start of the book's pilgrimage to Canterbury.

***

On this day in 1897, the Aurora, Texas, UFO incident allegedly takes place. It's pretty freaking interesting, to tell you the truth.

***

On this day in 1907, the Ellis Island immigration center processes 11,747 people, more than on any other day.

***

On this day in 1937, Daffy Duck's first appearance, in Porky's Duck Hunt.

***

On this day in 1941, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia surrenders to Germany during World War II. And yet we don’t make any “surrender-monkey” jokes about Yugoslavians the way we do about the French. Why is that, do you think?

***

On this day in 1961, in a massive covert operation that remains, at best, poorly understood, one thousand four hundred CIA-funded Cuban exiles (most likely trained by Bush Crime Family capo di tuti capi George Herbert "Poppy" Walker Bush) land in the Bay of Pigs, ostensibly in an abortive attempt to overthrow Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Depending on which version of reality you believe - the officially approved version or one of the myriad competing alternative versions - this failed coup either led directly to JFK's assassination by Castro supporter Lee Harvey Oswald, or it led indirectly to his assassination by the CIA as revenge for JFK's refusal to be forced into providing air support for a military action the Executive branch had no part in planning. Personally, yer old pal Jerky considers Bay of Pigs to be a veritable Rosetta Stone for parapolitical theorists.

***

On this day in 1969, Palestinian immigrant Sirhan Sirhan is found guilty of assassinating presidential candidate Robert Francis Kennedy. Just as in the assassination of his brother, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, serious doubts and troubling questions remain.

***

On this day in 1975, the Khmer Rouge captures the Cambodian capital city Phnom Penh and government forces surrender, ending that nation’s civil war, and kicking off one of the century’s bloodiest genocides.

***

On this day in 1986, IBM announces it will commence the manufacture of the first ever computers using the megabit memory chip, which is capable of storing more than one million bits of electronic data, thereby bringing us out of the age of ascii nudes, which led directly to the era of masturbation-worthy computer porn.

***

On this day in 2013, an incredibly powerful explosion occurs at a fertilizer plant in the city of West, Texas, killing 15 and injuring 160, thus proving once and for all the old adage "Everything is KABOOM-er in Texas."

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JULY 11

On this day in 1804, after decades of getting up each other's asses and for reasons far too complicated to get into here, Founding Father Alexander Hamilton and then-Vice-President Aaron Burr meet at the Weehawken, New Jersey dueling grounds at the crack of dawn to settle their differences at the end of a pair of pistols. What happened next depends entirely upon which eye-witness you choose to believe. Either Hamilton, in a poorly-timed attempt to prove himself a gentleman, fired into the air only to be shot square in the gut by Burr immediately afterwards, or else he simply took his shot and missed, leaving Burr to offer up a more accurate and deadly rebuttal. Whichever scenario is closest to the truth, the end results remain the same: Alexander Hamilton - the genius confidante of George Washington, the man who designed America's economic framework - was dead, and Aaron Burr's reputation as a vicious, villainous brute was firmly established. Now persona non grata, Burr and some foreign belligerents began formulating a plan to conquer Mexico - which, at the time, covered much of the South and Southwest - in order to set up a separate, independent, competing state. After being acquitted of treason, Burr kicked around Europe for a while, leaving a trail of angry creditors wherever he went. He eventually returned to the United States and lived long enough to witness the Texas Revolution, about which he mused: "What was treason in me thirty years ago, is patriotism now." Then he died.

***

On this day in 1889, the Mexican city of Tijuana is born. Three days later, the place is declared a poverty-stricken tourist trap with an unwholesome fixation on the donkey, Mexico's national beast of burden.

***

On this day in 1895, the Lumière brothers demonstrate film technology to scientists.

***

On this day in 1921, Mongolia gains its independence from China. Considering the serious developmental difficulties that come with that extra chromosome of theirs, you have to admit that's pretty impressive. 

***

On this day in 1921, former U.S. President William Howard Taft is sworn in as 10th Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, becoming the only person to ever be both President and Chief Justice.

***

On this day in 1955, Congress authorizes all American currency to be printed with the motto: "In God We Trust." Unfortunately, they left off the funnier half: "All others pay cash." But seriously, it behooves us to recall that these four words were added to American money - along with the words "Under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance - at the behest of the Roman Catholic Knights of Columbus fraternal order. Not in 1776. Not in 1855. Not even in 1900... but in 1955. Ten years after the end of World War II. The year President Eisenhower sent the first American troops to Vietnam. The year of the first McDonald's restaurant, and Bill Haley's Rock Around the Clock. In other words, it was a knee-jerk addition based on a passing fad, and the time has come to drop it.

***

On this day in 1979, the space station Skylab returns to Earth… the hard way. 

***

The government of the United States awards the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. the Presidential Medal of Freedom on this day in 1977, roughly nine years after awarding him the Troublemaker's Bullet of Shut-the-Fuck-Up in Memphis, Tennessee. And that's a fact, Jack.

KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMED'S INTERROGATOR MURDERED IN FLA HOTEL

Mainstream media sources were curiously, suspiciously silent about the news that Navy Commander Alphonso Mortimer Doss - the man who waterboarded al-Qaeda operative and alleged 9/11 "mastermind" Khalid Sheikh Mohammed upwards of two hundred times, among other tortures - was murdered in a Florida hotel room this past February. For instance, there is no mention of Doss's eminently noteworthy career highlights in this Florida Times-Union report on his murder, which instead focuses on the details of how his estranged wife and two others conspired to murder him for, allegedly, a million dollars in insurance money.

Indeed, one must dig deep to find information about Doss's exploits. For instance, in this Economic Policy Journal article, which reports in part:

In 2006 Doss was ordered by the Deputy Secretary of the Navy to assist in conducting the Annual Review Boards for suspected enemy-combatants held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
There, Doss’ team was charged with interviewing detainees and conducting boards to determine if the detainee in question should be released, transferred to another facility or be recommended for continued detention at Guantanamo Bay.
It was during this tour that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed admitted to Doss’ team that he was one of the masterminds behind 9/11.

The same article, using military and military journalistic sources, details how, earlier in his career, Doss was stationed in the Caribbean and Central America as part of a military operation targeting the narcotics trade, "completing two secret counter-drug missions" while "stationed onboard USS Connolly (1997/1998)".

Because we all know how much the American military just loves to say no to drugs, right?

SUPERHACKER BARNABY JACK DIES AT 35

According to this Reuters article by Jim Finkle, famed super-hacker Barnaby Jack...

...a celebrated computer hacker who forced bank ATMs to spit out cash and sparked safety improvements in medical devices, died in San Francisco, a week before he was due to make a high-profile presentation at a hacking conference. The New Zealand-born Jack, 35, was found dead on Thursday evening by "a loved one" at an apartment in San Francisco's Nob Hill neighborhood, according to a police spokesman. He would not say what caused Jack's death but said police had ruled out foul play. The San Francisco Medical Examiner's Office said it was conducting an autopsy, although it could be a month before the cause of death is determined.
Jack was one of the world's most prominent "white hat" hackers - those who use their technical skills to find security holes before criminals can exploit them. ... Jack had planned to demonstrate his techniques to hack into pacemakers and implanted defibrillators at the Black Hat hackers convention in Las Vegas next Thursday. He told Reuters last week that he could kill a man from 30 feet away by attacking an implanted heart device.

Much more at the link, but you get the general gist. 

PROPHETIC CONTINGENCY... WHY JIM DOUGLASS' JFK BOOK MATTERS

From the Nov/Dec 2010 issue of Tikkun Magazine: 

This November marks the fiftieth anniversary of John F. Kennedy's election. The best way to honor his legacy is to muster the courage to walk again through the "dark history" associated with his short but consequential presidency, in order to learn its lessons and discover its hope. Jim Douglass's JFK and the Unspeakable: Why He Died and Why it Matters, which Touchstone is reissuing this month as a trade paperback, is a reliable guide for that demanding task.

Find out why at the link.

ON THIS DAY IN PARA-CULTURE, JUNE 5

On this day in 8239 BC, the Universe is imagined into existence by two void-dwelling Gods, according to the Mayan "long-count" calendar. FYI, this same calendar lists December 21st, 2012 AD as the day that the Universe will come to an end... So smoke'em if ya got'em!

On this day in 1956, new-fangled rock-and-roller Elvis Presley creates a nationwide panic when he goes on The Milton Berle Show and performs a swivel-hipped rendition of his cover tune classic, Houndog. Later that night, pretty much anywhere within a five mile radius of a television set, if you went outside and breathed in deep, you could smell the faint aroma of sopping wet panties hanging in the air.

On this day, in 1968, at 12:16 am Pacific Standard Time, Sirhan Sirhan shoots Bobby Kennedy (or not), who dies the next day. JFK, RFK, MLK, John Lennon... Hey! How come these whack-job lone gunmen only succeed when they go after liberals? God must be a conservative, I guess.

On this day in 1933, U.S. Congress abrogates the gold standard by enacting a joint resolution (48 Stat. 112) nullifying the right of creditors to demand payment in gold. This is one of those historical "wrong turns" Ron Paul is always harping on about.

On this day in 1963, British Secretary of State for War John Profumo resigns after it comes to light that he's been shagging sexy, commie-connected call girl Christine Keeler. The scandal is popularly known as the Profumo Affair. Why it isn't called the Keeler Kerfuffle, I have no idea.

On this day in 1967, the Six-Day War begins when the Israeli air force launches (ahem) simultaneous pre-emptive attacks on the air forces of Egypt and Syria.

On this day in 1977, the Apple II, one of the first personal computers, goes on sale. So... have you ever wondered what that "apple with a bite out of it" logo means? Or why the first Apple computer sold for $666? So have these guys.

On this day in 1981, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that five people in Los Angeles, California have a rare form of pneumonia seen only in patients with weakened immune systems, in what turns out to be the first recognized cases of AIDS.

On this day in 1989, a single man halts the progress of a column of advancing tanks for over half an hour during the Tiananmen Square massacre. You gotta hand it to him. He was one ballsy fucker, and that's for damn sure.

On this day in 2004, after nearly 16 years out of office and out of the public eye, President Ronald Reagan dies at 93 years old. He is the oldest serving and the longest-living of all American Presidents. The heavily stage-managed media spectacle that followed Reagan's passing was, simply put, astonishing in its mercenary zeal. I wrote some good editorials about it, back in the day. If anybody asks, I'll email them. Also, don't worry... I hope to get some new quality writing done soon, so I can stop reveling in my former glories.

ON THIS DAY IN PARAPOLITICS, MAY 21

Leopold, Darrow and Loeb

On this day in 1863, the Seventh Day Adventist Church - an offshoot of the Apocalyptic creed of Millerite Protestantism - is organized in Battle Creek, Michigan. Today, there are over seventeen million "Sevvies" around the world, and they are one of the most ethnically diverse branches of the Christian faith. Seventh Day Adventists celebrate the Sabbath day on Saturday, in the Old Testament style of the Jews, and they place a strong emphasis on healthy eating and living. Probably the most lasting impact that they've had on popular culture is the introduction of ready-to-eat breakfast cereals to the North American diet.

On this day in 1871, French troops invade the Paris Commune and engage its residents in street fighting. By the close of "Bloody Week" some 20,000 anarchist and Marxist "communards" will have been killed and 38,000 arrested. Thus ended a historic, two-month experiment in self-rule by the people of Paris.

On this day in 1924, two young, well-to-do homosexuals named Leopold and Loeb murder 14 year-old Bobby Franks. At the time, this murder was considered one of the vilest and most sensational crimes in U.S. history, because the killers did it just for kicks. Defending the young murderers in court, legendary lawyer Clarence Darrow claims that the boys would never have become killers if they hadn't read the works of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, whose theory of the Ubermensch - a highly evolved idealization of humanity who exists above and beyond the mundane conceptions of "good" and "evil" - he claims twisted their minds.

On this day in 1946, physicist Louis Slotin is blasted with a fatal dose of radiation in a criticality incident during an experiment with the aptly-named Demon Core - a 6.2 kilogram subcritical mass of plutonium - at Los Alamos National Laboratory. It was the second time that such an incident resulted in the acute radiation poisoning and subsequent death of a scientist. After these incidents, the core was used in an atomic bomb test in 1946, and proved in practice to have a slightly increased yield over similar cores which had not been subjected to criticality excursions. Here's a dramatization of the Slotin incident from the movie Fat Man and Little Boy.

On this day in 1969, Palestinian immigrant Sirhan Sirhan is sentenced to death for killing Robert Kennedy in a restaurant kitchen. The sentence is never carried out, as California got rid of the death penalty.

On this day in 1979, the White Night Riots take place in San Francisco following the manslaughter conviction of Dan "Twinkie Defense" White for the assassinations of mayor George Moscone and openly gay city councilman Harvey Milk.

On this day in 1981, the Italian government releases the membership list of Propaganda Due, also known as the P2 Lodge, a Masonic lodge operating under the jurisdiction of the Grand Orient of Italy from 1945 to 1976 (when its charter was withdrawn), and a pseudo-Masonic or "black" or "covert" lodge operating illegally (in contravention of Italian constitution banning secret lodges and membership of government officials in secret membership organizations) from 1976 to 1981. During the years that the lodge was headed by Licio Gelli, P2 was implicated in numerous Italian crimes and mysteries, including the collapse of the Vatican-affiliated Banco Ambrosiano, the murders of journalist Mino Pecorelli and banker Roberto Calvi, and corruption cases within the nationwide bribe scandal Tangentopoli. P2 came to light through the investigations into the collapse of Michele Sindona's financial empire. It has also been connected to the CIA-connected European right-wing black-ops org known as Gladio.