Showing posts with label astronomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label astronomy. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 29, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JULY 29



On this day in 1836, the very beautiful Arc de Triomphe is inaugurated in Paris, France. It remains one of that nation's most cherished and beloved landmarks.

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On this day in 1848, the Irish nationalist Tipperary Revolt against British rule takes place during the Irish Potato Famine. It is unsuccessful. 

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On this day in 1900, King Umberto I of Italy is assassinated by the anarchist Gaetano Bresci.

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On this day in 1907, the Brownsea Island Scout camp is set up by Sir Robert Baden-Powell in Poole Harbour on the south coast of England. The camp ran until August 9, 1907, and is regarded as the foundation of the Scouting movement.

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On this day in 1921, after first joining the organization as a government infiltrator/spy, Adolf Hitler becomes leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party, later known as the Nazi Party.

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On this day in 1976, in New York city, David Berkowitz (aka the "Son of Sam") kills one person and seriously wounds another in the first of a series of attacks.

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On this day in the year 1981, England's Prince Charles marries Lady Diana Spencer, and they lived happily ever after.

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On this day in 1987, hippy ice cream entrepreneurs Ben & Jerry team up with Grateful Dead front man Jerry Garcia to create a popular new flavor: Cherry Garcia. Subsequent partnerships with other musicians, resulting in such flavors as Grape Slick, Strawberry Pearl Jam, and M&Eminem&M, were nowhere near as successful.

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On this day in 2005, astronomers announce their discovery of the dwarf planet Eris.

Monday, June 8, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 8

On this day in 632 AD, the prophet and founder of Islam, Muhammad, dies in Medina. His rule is succeeded by Abu Bakr, who becomes the first Caliph of the Rashidun Caliphate.

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On this day in 793 AD, the Scandinavian invasion of England begins when Vikings raid the abbey at Lindisfarne in Northumbria. These raids would continue for over a hundred years, until the Vikings convert, en mass, to Christianity, and become relatively docile almost overnight.

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On this day in 1794, French Revolutionary figure Robespierre inaugurates France’s new state religion: the Cult of the Supreme Being! Despite coming complete with large organized festivals to be celebrated all across France, it fails to catch on.

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On this day in 1949, an FBI report names celebrities Helen Keller, Dorothy Parker, Danny Kaye, Fredric March, John Garfield, Paul Muni and Edward G. Robinson as members of the American Communist Party. Meanwhile, in England, George Orwell's prophetic dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-Four lands on the nation’s bookshelves and consciousness with the force of a rogue comet.

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On this day in the year 1959, the Navy submarine U.S.S. Barbero fires a guided missile carrying 3,000 letters at the Naval Auxiliary Air Station in Mayport, Florida. "Before man reaches the moon," one official opined at the time, "mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to Britain, to India or Australia, by guided missiles." And so it was, and so it always shall be. I mean, can you imagine a world without guided missile-delivered mail?!

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On this day in 1967, Israeli warplanes launch a savage attack on the USS Liberty, an American intelligence gathering ship, killing 34 of her crew and wounding another 171. Israel tried to claim it was a friendly fire incident… but it wasn’t.

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On this day in 1972, Associated Press photographer Nick Ut takes his Pulitzer Prize-winning photo of a naked 9-year-old Phan Thị Kim Phúc running down a road after being burned by napalm.

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On this day in 2004, Venus transits across the Sun for the first time in modern history. The previous transit took place over a hundred years previous, in 1882. Because these transits happen in pairs, separated by roughly 8 years, the 2012 transit was the last one of the 21st century. There won't be another for a long, long time.


Monday, May 25, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 25


It was on this day in 240 BC that ancient astronomers first recorded the perihelion passage of the celestial body that would eventually come to be known as Halley's Comet. Clear records of its appearances had been made by Chinese, Babylonian, and medieval European chroniclers over time, but it wasn't until 1705 that Edmond Halley realized it was the same object making return trips to our Solar System once every 75 years or so. Halley's Comet's last fly-by took place in 1986, and it won't be back until 2061.

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On this day in 1521, rogue cleric Martin Luther is declared an outlaw by Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who ends the Diet of Worms by declaring the Edict of Worms: "For this reason we forbid anyone from this time forward to dare, either by words or by deeds, to receive, defend, sustain, or favor the said Martin Luther. On the contrary, we want him to be apprehended and punished as a notorious heretic, as he deserves, to be brought personally before us, or to be securely guarded until those who have captured him inform us, where upon we will order the appropriate manner of proceeding against the said Luther. Those who will help in his capture will be rewarded generously for their good work." To protect him, Prince Frederick of Saxony had Martin Luther kidnapped and hidden away in Wartburg Castle. Jeez... warts, worms... this story is making me nauseous. Let's move on, shall we?

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On this day in 1895, playwright, poet, and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. While at Reading Gaol, he writes De Profundis, essentially one of the best-written break-up letters of all time.

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On this day in 1926, Jewish anarchist Sholom Schwartzbard assassinates Symon Petliura, the head of the Paris-based government-in-exile of the Ukrainian People's Republic, ostensibly in retaliation for the latter's failure to prevent anti-Semitic pogroms in his former homeland during his two-year reign (1918-20).

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On this day in 1953, the United States military conducts their first - and final - nuclear artillery test, at the Nevada Test Site. Fired as part of Operation Upshot-Knothole and code named Shot GRABLE, a 280 mm shell with a gun-type fission warhead was fired 6.2 miles and detonated 525 feet above the ground with an estimated yield of 15 kilotons. The shell was 4.5 feet long and weighed 805 lbs. It was fired from a special, very large, artillery piece, nicknamed Atomic Annie. About 3,200 soldiers and civilians were present to witness the impressive fireworks display.

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On this day in 1961, President John F. Kennedy announces before a special joint session of the Congress his goal to initiate a project to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade. Some people believe we made it, but a growing number beg to differ. Personally, whether we got to leave our footprints on the Moon or not, I think the whole thing was just a feel-good cover story for pouring billions into the development of Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles... but what do I know?

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On this day in 1986, a massive public event featuring a boatload of creepy participants taking part in an activity that is more than a little reminiscent of a massive occult ritual takes place. I refer, of course, to Hands Across America. I shudder to think what would have happened if the opposite ends of such a tremendous human circle had come together, Ouroboros-style. Perhaps...

Monday, May 18, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 18


On this day in 1152, King Henry II of England marries Eleanor of Aquitaine, an incredibly fascinating world-historic person in her own right.

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On this day in 1804, Napoleon Bonaparte is proclaimed Emperor of the French by the French Senate, which kind of flies in the face of the ideals behind the entire Revolutionary Project, but whatever.

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On this day in 1896, a mass panic on Khodynka Field in Moscow during the festivities of the coronation of Russian Tsar Nicholas II on the day of his 28th birthday results in the deaths of... hold on, can this be right? 1,389 people?! Sheez, that must have been some serious-ass panicking!

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On this day in 1910, the Earth passes through the tail of Halley's Comet. Despite many contemporaneous prophecies to the contrary, life as we know it does not cease to exist right then and there.

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On this day in 1927, 45 second-to-sixth graders are killed and 58 more are wounded when a huge cache of explosives planted by anti-tax activist Andrew Kehoe explodes beneath a school in Bath, Michigan. It took Kehoe a year to plan his atrocity, and months to pack the school full of explosives which he then detonated remotely, herding his victims for maximum carnage, before blowing up his own shrapnel-packed car with himself inside it. He even issued a number of vague threats before doing the dirty deed, but nobody caught on.

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On this day in 1944, the Soviet Union exiles more than 200,000 Tartars from Crimea because they were collaborating with the Nazis. And to think… the only thing the USA did with their Nazi collaborators - Preznit Dubya's grand-daddy being chief among them - was give them a slap on the wrist and hand their descendants the keys to the White House. It's kind of funny, in an utterly fucking disgusting kind of way.

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On this day in 1974, India becomes the sixth nation in world history to explode an atomic bomb... not counting Atlantis.

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On this day in 1980, Mount Saint Helens erupts, gushing forth billions of gallons of volcanic ash, killing between 57 and 65 people (depending who you ask) and blasting away a huge chunk of the mountainside. 

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On this day in 1995, a crystal-meth-addicted, half-psychotic, authority-hating Army vet named Shawn Nelson steals an M60 Patton Tank from a National Guard base in San Diego and goes on a rampage, destroying cars, fire hydrants and other property before being gunned down by police after getting stuck on a median.


Friday, May 1, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 1

The first day in the month of May is celebrated as May Day – also known as International Workers’ Day – almost everywhere in the world, with the most glaring exception being the nation whose citizens’ blood fertilized the soil of its inception: the United States of America.

First suggested at the first congress of the world socialist Second International in 1889, May Day was meant to commemorate Chicago’s infamous Haymarket Massacre of three years prior, in which dozens of labor demonstrators were gunned down by police after one of them allegedly threw a dynamite bomb.

The holiday was formally recognized as an annual event at the International's second congress in 1891. Three years later, following a particularly nasty Wall Street panic, the May Day Riots took place in Cleveland, OH. Ten years later, in 1904, the International Socialist Conference meeting in Amsterdam called on "all Social Democratic Party organizations and trade unions of all countries to demonstrate energetically on May First for the legal establishment of the 8-hour day, for the class demands of the proletariat, and for universal peace."

Considering its origins and history, it shouldn't be too surprising that The Powers That Be have never had much love for May Day. Right-wing governments, invariably favoring Capital over Labor, have historically downplayed the holiday’s significance, often celebrating “Labour/Labor Day” on another day – for instance, as in the USA and Canada, on the first Monday of September.

Unfortunately, simply shifting the holiday to a different spot on the calendar left folks with nothing to celebrate on the first day of May. The solution? How about the one-two punch of Law Day and Loyalty Day? Yes, that’s right, in the late 50’s, Republican President Dwight “Ike” Eisenhower and his Republican-led Congress created these two (count’em!) brand spanking new holidays to take people’s minds off the central role labor has played in human progress over the years!

Of course, the above covers the “Red Root” (Labor) version of May Day. There exists another, “Green Root” (Pagan) version of the holiday, related to the sex-heavy Celtic festival of Beltane and the somewhat less sexy Germanic festival of Walpurgis Night (which is named after a Saint, after all). Some of the more hard-core versions of this European celebration were done away with after Christianization, but surviving traditions usually involve dancing around a Maypole – representative of either a Sacred Tree or a giant phallus, depending on who you ask – and other fertility-related activities, such as presenting gifts of flowers to loved ones. Beltane, specifically, involves ritual purification through fire, and if you've seen the The Wicker Man (1973), you already know how much fun that can be.


ALSO ON THIS DAY

On this day in 1776, a Jesuit-trained Bavarian philosopher by the name of Adam Weishaupt adopts the name Spartacus and establishes a secret society which he dubs the Order of Perfectibilists, more popularly known as the Illuminati. Both Weishaupt and his long-defunct organization remain as poorly understood today as they were by their contemporaries, a point underscored by the fact that Thomas Jefferson counted himself an unabashed admirer.

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On this day in 1863, the Confederate Congress passes a resolution declaring no Black Union soldiers may be taken prisoner. Instead, all Black soldiers are to be shot on sight. And yet, some people still try to make believe the Civil War was about "state's rights," and had nothing to do with the institution of slavery. Go figure!

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On this day in 1915, the RMS Lusitania departs from New York City for her 222nd – and final – crossing of the Atlantic. Six days later, a torpedo launched from a German submarine would sink her off the coast of Ireland, killing twelve hundred. 128 of the dead were Americans, which caused an about-face in the US population’s doggedly non-interventionist stance vis-à-vis the Great War. Within months, Americans would be dying in their thousands in the hideous, Satanic meat-grinder of trench warfare, ostensibly to avenge the deaths of those unlucky dozens.



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On this day in 1930, the Solar System’s ninth planet is saddled with the decidedly Hellish name Pluto, borrowed from the Greek Lord of the Underworld. Upon their discoveries, Pluto’s moons would be given the similarly Stygian monikers Charon, Nix and Hydra. Who makes these decisions?! Later, much to the public's dismay (and misunderstanding) the Planetary Union demote Pluto to planetoid, leaving Niburu (yet to be found, though calculations SUGGEST it is there) to become the 9th planet, eventually.


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On this day in 1945 a German newsreader announces that Adolf Hitler has "fallen at his command post in the Reich Chancellery fighting to the last breath against Bolshevism and for Germany.” 


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On this day in 1948, The "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" – a.k.a. North Korea – is established by “Great Leader” Kim Il-sung. Folks, you couldn't pack more irony into a single sentence if you tried. Today, 75 years and two generations of despotism later, North Korea retains its title as quite possibly the single most fucked up nation on a planet that is known for being home to some incredibly fucked up nations. The USA falls uncomfortably high on that same list now. Time for someone else to become well-hung as well.


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On this day in 1956, the polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk is made available to the public. And we all lived happily ever after.


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On this day in 1960, a Lockheed U-2 spy-plane being piloted by American Francis Gary Powers is shot down over the Soviet Union. Powers survives by ejecting, and his U-2 glides to a soft crash-landing that leaves it frustratingly intact, allowing the Soviets to learn everything about the plane's structure and abilities when they pick it apart. Powers is interrogated for months, then forced to confess to espionage. He was sentenced to 10 years hard labor at a Soviet work camp, but ended up serving less than 8 months before being sent back to the USA in a spy-swap. After a different kind of rough landing back home (he was interrogated by hostile officials from the CIA, Pentagon, a few Senate committees and even Lockheed!), Powers continued his aviation career until 1977, when he died while heroically ditching his helicopter rather than risk a crash-landing in a field where children were playing..


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On this day, in 1986, Russia finally tells the rest of the world about the nuclear accident at Chernobyl… five days after what was at that time the worst meltdown in the history of nuclear power. Much to the delight of the Ukrainian Tourism Bureau, “Fukushima” is poised to replace “Chernobyl” as short-hand for “FUBAR Nuclear No-Go-Zone”.


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And, finally, on this day in 2003, Americans celebrate "Mission Accomplished Day" when Preznit Dubya appears before a cheering crowd of soldiers on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln in full padded-crotch regalia to declare that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended.” Sadly, nothing could have been further from the truth.


Friday, April 24, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 24


On this day in 1479 BC, upon the death of his father Thutmoses II, and at the tender age of three years old, Thutmose III begins co-ruling Egypt with his stepmother, Hatshepsut. The two co-rule Egypt for twenty-two years, until Hatshepsut’s death, after which he would go on to reign, alone, as the sixth Pharaoh of the Eighteenth Dynasty, for another thirty-two years. Generally considered to be one of the greatest rulers of the Ancient World, Thutmoses III led numerous highly successful military operations to expand Egypt’s territory and influence, as well as its art and monumental architecture.

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On this day in 1184 BC, the simultaneously historical/mythological city of Troy falls to an invasion led by the revenge-driven – and also quasi-mythical – King Agamemnon. So, just to put things in perspective, the head in the photograph at the top of today’s column dates from nearly half a millennium before the events described in the Greek Epic Cycle, or more specifically, in Homer’s Iliad. Sometimes, history can be pretty fucking cool.

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On this day in 1915, two hundred and fifty Armenian intellectuals and community leaders are arrested in Istanbul, marking the opening salvo of what would eventually degenerate into one of the worst genocides of a century pretty much jam-fucking-packed with genocides. Sometimes, history isn’t very cool at all.

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On this day in 1955, representatives from twenty-nine African, Asian and Middle Eastern nations get together for the final day of the Bandung Conference, held in Bandung, Indonesia. At the time, the nations represented – Egypt, China, Indonesia, India, Iraq and others – all had yet to take sides in the Cold War, and for the most part they wanted to keep it that way, believing the struggle between the United States and the Soviet Union had little to do with them. Instead, they hoped to focus on economic development, improving health care, and ensuring better crop yields for their farmers. They also called for an end to South African apartheid and the nuclear arms race, which was gathering steam at the time. American reaction was not encouraging, to say the least. They refused to send an observer to the meetings, despite being invited to do so. Secretary of State John Foster Dulles reiterated the government's Dubya-esque policy of equating neutrality with aggression. The end result? Economic, political and even covert military retaliation, all of which caused increases in nationalism, anti-Americanism and/or radical Muslim fundamentalism in almost every nation represented at the conference. Many of these nations have yet to recover.

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On this day in 1990, during the thirty-fifth Space Shuttle mission, the Hubble Space Telescope is packed aboard the Discovery, then launched into outer space and successfully positioned into its current low-Earth orbit, from whence it has been providing us with mind-blowing deep-space porn ever since. Sadly, the Hubble is scheduled to go out of commission this year some time, and its replacement, the James Webb Space Telescope, won’t be launched until 2018, at the earliest. Considering the economic state of the world, and without a working Space Shuttle to ferry it up there, your humble correspondent is starting to worry that the Hubble might not ever be replaced. All you science-lovers out there keep your metatarsals and metacarpals crossed. Hubble was replaced by the James Webb Telescope on December 25, 2021. Even more deep space porn ensues apace.

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On this day in 2005, for the first time ever, a cloned dog is born in South Korea. It's creator, the controversial Korean scientist Hwang Woo-Suk, names it Snuppy. This might not seem like such a big deal, considering Dolly the sheep was cloned almost nine years earlier. However, according to Wikipedia, despite scientists being able to clone everything from cats, cows, horses, mice, mules, pigs, rabbits and rats, they were having trouble cloning dogs “due to the problematic task of maturing a canine ovum in an artificial environment.” Who knew?

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 21




On this day in 753 BC, those bitch-tit-sucking twins Romulus and Remus found Rome. "Empire" ensues.

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On this day in 1519, Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés lands in Veracruz, on the east coast of Mexico, where he is greeted by the large native population. Things go about as well for those poor devils as yer old pal Jerky suspects it will go for us when the aliens – or extra-dimensional Archons, or whatever the fuck they really are – finally decide to stop pussyfooting around and initiate contact with someone other than gasoline-huffing NyQuil addicts from Squalor, East Virginia.

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On this day in 1863, in Persia, the founder of the Baha'i faith – Bahaullah – declares his mission as "He Whom God shall make Manifest". Baha'i is an interesting faith, with an interesting history. I'm not suggesting it was created by shadowy elites as a more progressive, rational alternative to the "religions of the book" that emerged from Antiquity. However, if a shadowy elite wanted to create a more progressive, rational alternative to the "religions of the book" in order to control the masses... that faith would most certainly look an awful lot like Baha'i.

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On this day in 1934, the "Surgeon's Photograph", the most famous photo allegedly showing the Loch Ness Monster, is published in the Daily Mail. In 1999, the photo is purportedly revealed to be a “fake” and a “hoax”. However, many serious questions remain about this supposed “debunking”. For instance, how would the hoaxers have known to make their “fake” monster look exactly like so many other photographs of lake monsters that would follow in their footsteps?

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On this day in 1966, Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie visits Jamaica, an event now celebrated as "Grounation Day". Jamaica's Rasta believers considered Selassie - traditionally seen as a descendant of the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon - to be the prophesied Second Coming of Christ... the Messiah. They still do. But during his first visit to Jamaica, over a hundred thousand Rasta descended on the airport, smoking "spliffs" and "chalices", creating both a cloud of marijuana smoke and a human crush so dense that Selassie refused to de-plane. Eventually Rasta representatives climbed aboard to meet with Selassie, then emerged and instructed the crowds to be respectful and move back, which they did. The rest of his visit went smoothly.

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On this day in the year 1986, intrepid sleuth Geraldo Rivera cracks open Al Capone's vault on national TV and finds ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, forever cementing the nation’s opinion of him as a first-class boob.

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On this day in 1994, astronomer Alexander Wolszczan announces the first ever discovery of extra-solar planets. As of early 2013, astronomers have catalogued over 800 such planets, including a few potentially earth-like ones.



Friday, September 19, 2014

A NEW AND MORE ACCURATE VISUALIZATION OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

Apparently, the way in which we modern day folk visualize the Solar System is all ass-backwards. At least, according to this here website...

While [it] isn’t entirely wrong, it’s omitting one very important fact. The sun isn’t stationary. The sun is actually travelling at extremely fast speeds, upward of 828,000 km/hr, or 514,000 miles an hour.
Our whole Solar System is orbiting the Milky Way Galaxy. In fact it takes 220-Million Years for the Sun to orbit our Galaxy.
Knowing this to be true, our visual model of the Solar System needs to change, and has been inaccurate this whole time. In fact, our planets are barreling through space with the sun, and literally creating a giant Cosmic DNA Helix, and a vortex similar to our Milky Way Galaxy.
Check out this groovy video for a peek at what's really going down in the Great Big Nothing.



Friday, May 25, 2012

ON THIS DAY IN PARAPOLITICS, MAY 25


It was on this day in 240 BC that ancient astronomers first recorded the perihelion passage of the celestial body that would eventually come to be known as Halley's Comet. Clear records of its appearances had been made by Chinese, Babylonian, and medieval European chroniclers over time, but it wasn't until 1705 that Edmond Halley realized it was the same object making return trips to our Solar System once every 75 years or so. Halley's Comet's last fly-by took place in 1986, and it won't be back until 2061.

On this day in 1521, rogue cleric Martin Luther is declared an outlaw by Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who ends the Diet of Worms by declaring the Edict of Worms: "For this reason we forbid anyone from this time forward to dare, either by words or by deeds, to receive, defend, sustain, or favour the said Martin Luther. On the contrary, we want him to be apprehended and punished as a notorious heretic, as he deserves, to be brought personally before us, or to be securely guarded until those who have captured him inform us, where upon we will order the appropriate manner of proceeding against the said Luther. Those who will help in his capture will be rewarded generously for their good work." To protect him, Prince Frederick of Saxony had Martin Luther kidnapped and hidden away in Wartburg Castle. Jeez... warts, worms... this story is making me nauseous. Let's move on, shall we?

On this day in 1895, playwright, poet, and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. While at Reading Gaol, he writes De Profundis, essentially one of the best-written break-up letters of all time.

On this day in 1926, Jewish anarchist Sholom Schwartzbard assassinates Symon Petliura, the head of the Paris-based government-in-exile of the Ukrainian People's Republic, ostensibly in retaliation for the latter's failure to prevent anti-Semitic pogroms in his former homeland during his two-year reign (1918-20).

On this day in 1953, the United States military conducts their first - and final - nuclear artillery test, at the Nevada Test Site. Fired as part of Operation Upshot-Knothole and codenamed Shot GRABLE, a 280 mm shell with a gun-type fission warhead was fired 6.2 miles and detonated 525 feet above the ground with an estimated yield of 15 kilotons. The shell was 4.5 feet long and weighed 805 lbs. It was fired from a special, very large, artillery piece, nicknamed Atomic Annie (see above). About 3,200 soldiers and civilians were present to witness the impressive fireworks display (see below).

On this day in 1961, President John F. Kennedy announces before a special joint session of the Congress his goal to initiate a project to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade. Some people believe we made it, but a growing number beg to differ. Personally, whether we got to leave our footprints on the Moon or not, I think the whole thing was just a feel-good cover story for pouring billions into the development of Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles... but what do I know?

On this day in 1986, a massive public event featuring a boatload of creepy participants taking part in an activity that is more than a little reminiscent of a massive occult ritual takes place. I refer, of course, to Hands Across America. I shudder to think what would have happened if the opposite ends of such a tremendous human circle had come together, Ouroboros-style. Perhaps...