PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 13

On this day in 1373, the Anglo-Portuguese Alliance between England and Portugal is founded. It remains the oldest alliance in the world that is still in force to this day.

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On this day in 1525, rogue German cleric Martin Luther marries Katharina von Bora, against the celibacy rule decreed by the Roman Catholic Church for priests and nuns. This perhaps helps explain his “Protestantism” to a certain degree.

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On this day in 1886, one day after being deposed, Bavaria’s “Mad” King Ludwig II is found dead in Lake Starnberg, in waist-deep water, along with his personal physician. Both have unexplained wounds to their head and shoulders.

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On this day in 1934, German fuhrer Adolf Hitler and Italian generalissimo Benito Mussolini meet in Venice, Italy. Mussolini later describes the German dictator as "a silly little monkey".

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On this day in 1966, the US Supreme Court rules in Miranda v. Arizona that the police must inform suspects of their rights before questioning them, much to their extreme displeasure.

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On this day in 1971, the New York Times begins publication of the Pentagon Papers. Pretty heavy stuff.

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On this day in the year 1981, television host Tom Snyder interviews Charles Manson on his late-night program, Tomorrow. Viewers have a hard time deciding which wildly gesticulating loon looks more deranged.

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On this day in the year 1983, America’s Pioneer 10 space probe reaches the outermost boundaries of our Solar System and slips into the inky black nothingness of interstellar space. Yer old pal Jerky finds it strangely comforting that -- even after the last, toxin-riddled member of our suicidal species gurgles its final, pain-wracked breath -- these hunks of metal we’ve sent hurtling through the cosmos will still be carving a path through the void, blinking eternally, intergalactic proof that, yes, WE ONCE WERE!

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On this day in 2005, a California jury finds faded pop phenom Michael Jackson "not guilty" of ten charges stemming from allegations that he molested a 13-year-old cancer patient two years before. When asked how he was going to celebrate, a jubilant Jacko squealed: "I'm going to Disneyland! And then, after picking up a vanload of hot dates, I'm going to Neverland!"

COURT CASE ACCIDENTALLY UNCOVERS DARK PENTAGON SECRETS

According to this Washington Post article, a probe and court case stemming from an illegal "insider" deal relating to the manufacture and sale of hundreds of on-spec automatic rifle silencers to a tiny Pentagon planning office is leading investigators down some very dark and spooky hallways. Consider:

The mysterious workings of a Pentagon office that oversees clandestine operations are unraveling in federal court, where a criminal investigation has exposed a secret weapons program entwined with allegations of a sweetheart contract, fake badges and trails of destroyed evidence.

Capping an investigation that began almost two years ago, separate trials are scheduled this month in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, Va., for a civilian Navy intelligence official and a hot-rod auto mechanic from California who prosecutors allege conspired to manufacture an untraceable batch of automatic-rifle silencers. 

The exact purpose of the silencers remains hazy, but court filings and pretrial testimony suggest they were part of a top-secret operation that would help arm guerrillas or commandos overseas. 

The silencers — 349 of them — were ordered by a little-known Navy intelligence office at the Pentagon known as the Directorate for Plans, Policy, Oversight and Integration, according to charging documents. The directorate is composed of fewer than 10 civilian employees, most of them retired military personnel.

To anyone with even a modicum of imagination, the potential implications of this accidentally uncovered secret weapons deal are staggering. A tiny Pentagon back-office (with upwards of ten employees) orders nearly half a thousand silencers for automatic rifles... why? For whom? The article implies, without much evidence, that these weapons might have been intended for use "overseas" by illegal (but American-supported) paramilitaries, or, as they're more commonly known by their victims, death squads. But why not consider the possibility that these "Made in America" munitions were meant for a far more... domestic purpose?

This story, of course, will require a great deal more research and thought. For instance, what's the deal with this Directorate for Plans, Policy, Oversight and Integration? What is its history? Who has been involved with it? I'll be keeping an eye on this story as it develops, as will the participants at the Rigorous Intuition message board (the thread about this particular case can be found here).

You can learn more at the topmost link, obviously.

ON THIS DAY IN PARAPOLITICS, MAY 19

New England's Dark Day

On this day in 1536, Anne Boleyn, the second wife of Henry VIII, is beheaded for adultery, treason, and incest.

On this day in the year 1780, in the middle of the afternoon, New England is plunged into almost total darkness. On the day in question, Connecticut State Council wanted to adjourn so members could go home and prepare for Judgement Day, but councilor Abraham Davenport said: "I am against an adjournment. The day of judgment is either approaching, or it is not. If it is not, there is no cause of an adjournment: if it is, I choose to be found doing my duty. I wish therefore that candles may be brought!" To this day, nobody knows what happened... although I gotta figure it probably had something to do with witches.

On this day in 1943, Nazi dictator Adolph Hitler declares the city of Berlin to be Judenrien, or completely empty of Jewish people. At first, the dictator is proud of his sinister achievement, but when he finds that he can't get a decent smoked meat sandwich to save his life anymore... he begins to secretly harbor regrets.

On this day in 1953, the Pentagon sets off a nuclear explosion on a remote Nevada proving ground, but unexpectedly strong winds carry fall-out all the way to the town of Saint George, Utah. Today, when looking back at the ecological catastrophe, the plucky people of Saint George say: "No sweat!" It's not that they don't mind that their government's lax safety controls led to their town getting bathed in radiation. It's just that they were born without sweat glands, and literally can't produce sweat.

On this day in 1962, a birthday salute to President John F. Kennedy takes place at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The highlight is Marilyn Monroe's rendition of Happy Birthday, making the whole presidential extramarital liaison thing just a little too obvious for some folks' liking.