1795 — Poland is completely consumed by Russia, Prussia, and Austria.
Poland was completely consumed by three neighboring countries. Not invaded. Consumed. Apparently, Europe had invented the geopolitical equivalent of a progressive dinner, and Poland was the entrée. “Poland disappeared off the map. Three countries agreed to split it up. It was the first international HOA dispute.”
1876 — The Shinpūren Rebellion in Japan.
A group of former samurai rebelled against Westernization and the abolition of the feudal hierarchy. They were upset that Japan was modernizing and that their jobs were disappearing.
Imagine being a samurai in 1876. For centuries, your family has been trained to kill people with swords. Suddenly, the government says, “We’re going in a different direction.” Turns out, ‘highly trained sword guy’ isn’t a transferable skill.
It’s the original case of You’re being replaced by technology. Except the technology was a guy with a gun.
1900 — The United States plans to buy the Danish West Indies for $7 million.
In 1900, the United States announced plans to buy the Danish West Indies for $7 million. America was shopping for islands. Even back then, we were buying things we couldn’t afford and calling it expansion.
Seven million dollars! That’s practically nothing for a tropical island chain. Today, you can’t even get a decent two-bedroom condo in Florida for that. And Florida comes with Florida.
1901 — Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
Finally, a woman who looked at a perfectly good waterfall and thought, “You know what this needs? A barrel.”
She was 63 years old, which means she’d lived long enough to know better and decided to go anyway. She went over the falls in a barrel. Most people her age take up gardening. She chose plumbing.
And she survived! Proving that if you’re going to make a terrible life decision, it helps to have a really sturdy barrel.
1929 — Black Thursday begins the Wall Street Crash.
On Black Thursday, the stock market began its catastrophic collapse, helping usher in the Great Depression.
Wall Street discovered that everybody was buying stocks with money they didn’t have, based on profits that didn’t exist, in companies nobody understood.The market crashed, and millions lost everything. The bankers learned a valuable lesson: next time, make sure you’re holding somebody else’s money.
Basically, the same business model as Wall Street today... except people wore hats.
2008 — Bloody Friday: Stock markets plunge around the world.
In 2008, stock exchanges around the world suffered catastrophic declines, with many indexes dropping about 10%.
'Whoops, I did it again!' 79 years later...
The people responsible? They were rewarded with enormous bonuses because apparently, when you destroy the economy, you become management material.
2018 — The Hong Kong–Zhuhai–Macau Bridge opens.
The world’s longest sea crossing opened to public traffic, connecting Hong Kong, Zhuhai, and Macau.
A magnificent feat of engineering: A bridge connecting three cities across the sea. Meanwhile, I can’t get across town without hitting road construction.
Humanity can build a bridge across the ocean, but we still can’t build a website that remembers my password.
We can conquer the sea. We can move mountains. We can connect cities separated by water.
But if I forget one capital letter, one number, and the name of my first pet, I’m locked out of my own life.
No comments:
Post a Comment