Tuesday, April 30, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 30


On this day in 1945, in an underground bunker, Adolf Hitler first poisons his wife, Eva Braun, then blows his own brains out with a pistol. Also, today is Walpurgisnacht, or Germany's Witch's Sabbath. Just a friendly reminder to all you devil-worshipers planning to gather in wooded glades in order to offer blood-sacrifices to Wotan the Horned One... stay alive, don't drink and drive!

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On this day in 1966, a former carnival barker by the name of Anton LaVey shaves his head, buys an abandoned insane asylum in San Francisco and converts it into the Church of Satan. Later he would declare: “The Satanic Age started in 1966. That’s when God was proclaimed dead, the Sexual Freedom League came into prominence, and the hippies developed into a free sex culture.” Nothing quite so fun as pulling the squares’ legs, eh, Anton?

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On this day in 1973, President Richard Nixon announces the resignation of top aides Haldeman, Ehrlichman and other co-conspirators, in what was the first in a series of pathetic attempts to offer up scapegoats in lieu of the big enchilada, himself, who would last another year in the White House, despite everything.

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On this day in 1975, Communist forces gain control of Saigon and the Vietnam War formally comes to an end with the unconditional surrender of South Vietnamese president Duong Van Minh.

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On this day in 1980, upon the abdication of her mother, Beatrix Wilhelmina Armgard becomes Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands. 29 years later, on this day in 2009, seven people are killed and seventeen injured at a Queen's Day parade in Apeldoorn, Netherlands, when a cuckoo-bird by the name of Karst Tates rams his tiny little Euro-car through the parade route, killing six and mortally injuring himself. Flash forward another four years to this very day, and Queen Beatrix is, herself, abdicating the throne and handing it over to her eldest son, Willem-Alexander, who will be the Netherlands’ first king in 123 years.

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On this day in 1993, deranged tennis fanatic Günter Parche runs onto the court and stabs Monica Seles in the back during a quarterfinal match of the Citizen Cup in Hamburg, Germany.

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On this day in 2004, American media groups release graphic photos of American soldiers abusing and sexually humiliating Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.


Monday, April 29, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 29



On this day in 1945, the German army in Italy unconditionally surrenders to the Allies. Meanwhile, in Germany, the Dachau concentration camp is liberated by United States troops.

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After refusing induction into the United States Army over religious objections, world champion heavyweight boxer Muhammad Ali is stripped of his title on this day in 1967.

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On this day in 1992, following the acquittal of police officers charged with excessive force in the beating of Rodney King, riots break out in Los Angeles, California. Over the next three days 53 people are killed and hundreds of buildings are destroyed.

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On this day in 2004, Preznit Dubya testifies before the 9/11 Commission, but only after they agree to his three conditions. First, that the hearing be closed and unrecorded take and place in the Oval Office; second, that they not require him to be sworn in (which, seeing as he was planning to lie, would leave him open to future charges of perjury); and third, that creepy veep Dick Cheney be allowed to hold his hand throughout the grueling ordeal. Fucking pathetic.


Sunday, April 28, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 28


On this day in 1192, two hashshashin ambush and stab to death the Frankish Crusader Conrad of Montferrat, who had just been elected King of Jerusalem three days prior. Although his murderers belong to the ostensibly Islamic Nizari Ismaili cult, historians believe that they were most likely in the employ of jealous rival Crusaders. It’s all rather complicated.

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On this day in 1945, Benito Mussolini and his mistress are shot dead by Italian partisans. Their bloating, fly-blown corpses were left hanging upside-down from the rafters of a gas station for days. The old ladies of Milan were all impressed by the fact that Il Duce's corpse remained suspended even after that of his mistress had fallen, succumbing to a gruesome combination of gravity and decay. By comparison, the old ladies agreed that Mussolini was very well hung, indeed.

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On this day in 1947, explorer/scientist/adventurer Thor Heyerdahl, along with five crew mates, sets out from Peru on the Kon-Tiki – a ship made using only “prehistoric technology” – to prove that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia. Interestingly, the latest theories backed up by DNA testing seem to back Heyerdahl’s thesis only a little bit, and contradict him in other spots.

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On this day in 1994, former CIA counter-intelligence officer and analyst Aldrich Ames pleads guilty to giving U.S. secrets to the Soviet Union and later, Russia. His betrayals led to the exposure (and often the liquidation) of more agents working behind the Iron Curtain than those of any other spy in US history, with possible exception of Robert Hanssen.

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On this day in 1996, Australian Martin Bryant goes on a shooting rampage in Port Arthur, Tasmania, killing 35 people and seriously injuring 21 more. Giving rise to a number of conspiracy theories about “gun grabbers” by many right wing commentators, the Port Arthur Massacre was Australia’s Sandy Hook, just as Sandy Hook was America’s Dunblane, and Dunblane was Scotland’s… um… Port Arthur Massacre? Yeah, I guess that works. And so it’s all come full circle. It’s the Circle of Death!


Saturday, April 27, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 27



On this day in 1667, a blind and impoverished John Milton sells the copyright to his prose magnum opus Paradise Lost… for £10.

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On this day in 1813, during the War of 1812, US troops capture the capital of Upper Canada in the Battle of York, in present day Toronto.

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On this day in 1865, only two weeks after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and one day after the killing of his assassin, John Wilkes Booth, the worst maritime disaster in the history of the United States takes place when a boiler on the steamboat paddlewheeler SS Sultana explodes and she sinks on the Mississippi, killing 1,700 of her 2,400 passengers. The Sultana’s official carrying capacity was only 376, and most of the dead were Union survivors of the Andersonville and Cahaba Confederate war prisons.

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On this day in 1950, the Group Areas Act is formally passed in South Africa, segregating the races in an official policy of Apartheid.

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On this day in 1981, Xerox introduces the computer mouse. Kinda cute, isn't it?

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On this day in 1997, disgruntled gay man Andrew Cunanan begins his "Homogeddon" murder spree that will culminate with the July murder of multi-millionaire fashion designer - and former trick - Gianni Versace.

Friday, April 26, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 26




On this day in 1937, the Nazis test the bombing capabilities of their newly inaugurated Luftwaffe air force on the tiny Spanish town of Guernica, with Generalisimo Francisco Franco's consent. For three hours, German planes poured bombs on the town in what was history's first ever bombing of purely civilian targets, a tactic that would later be enthusiastically adopted by both sides of the conflict, at the ultimate cost of millions of innocent lives. The attack inspired Picasso to paint his great masterpiece, Guernica.

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On this day in 1962, roughly three days after being launched, NASA's Ranger 4 spacecraft - which was designed to transmit pictures of the lunar surface, to rough-land a seismometer capsule on the Moon, to collect gamma-ray data, and to study the potential radar reflectivity of the lunar surface - fails to do ANY of those things after a computer malfunction causes it to crash into the dark side of the Moon.

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On this day in 1986, a nuclear reactor at the Chernobyl power plant in the Soviet Union melts down, killing 31 and irradiating hundreds of thousands more. It was, and still remains, the single worst nuclear accident in history, with a legacy that is just... it's... it's beyond words, is what it is.


Thursday, April 25, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 25


On this day in 1983, mere months after President Ronald Reagan famously likened the USSR to an "evil empire," Soviet leader Yuri Andropov replies to a personal letter from American fifth-grader Samantha Smith. In response to Smith's question about nuclear war, Andropov wrote:
"Samantha, we in the Soviet Union are endeavoring and doing everything so that there will be no war between our two countries, so that there will be no war at all on earth. This is the wish of everyone in the Soviet Union. I vow that we will never, but never, be the first to use nuclear weapons against any country.” 
Andropov ended his letter by inviting Smith and her family to Moscow for a visit. She accepted, and for a while, Samantha Smith was getting O.J.-level media attention. They were calling her: "America's youngest ambassador!" They were talking about a sea change in American-Soviet relations.

Within the span of two years, both Yuri Andropov and Samantha Smith would be dead. The former was felled by a fierce kidney infection, and the latter was torn to shreds in a small plane crash. Two voices for peace, conveniently silenced, leaving the military industrial complex safe to go on churning out five hundred dollar hammers, thousand-dollar toilet seats and billion-dollar stealth bombers.

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On this day in 1933, the United States drops the gold standard. Ever since then, the economy has been built upon the illusion of fiat currency and the “promise” of future debt. Judging by the mortgaged house you live in, the leased vehicle you drive, the mass-manufactured food and the mass media stimulation devices you use to stuff your face and brain, thereby numbing your psychic agony, I suppose it all worked out for the best!

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On this day in the year 1792, the art of punishment collides head-on with the cutting edge of technology as the guillotine is first used in the execution of a criminal. The lucky footnote? Highway bandit Nicolas Pelletier.

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On this day in 1953, scientists first identify DNA, the words formed by the genetic alphabet of life. Kinda looks like one of the corridors from the Discovery in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, doesn't it?




Wednesday, April 24, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 24


On this day in 1479 BC, upon the death of his father Thutmoses II, and at the tender age of three years old, Thutmose III begins co-ruling Egypt with his stepmother, Hatshepsut. The two co-rule Egypt for twenty-two years, until Hatshepsut’s death, after which he would go on to reign, alone, as the sixth Pharaoh of the Eighteenth Dynasty, for another thirty-two years. Generally considered to be one of the greatest rulers of the Ancient World, Thutmoses III led numerous highly successful military operations to expand Egypt’s territory and influence, as well as its art and monumental architecture.

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On this day in 1184 BC, the simultaneously historical/mythological city of Troy falls to an invasion led by the revenge-driven – and also quasi-mythical – King Agamemnon. So, just to put things in perspective, the head in the photograph at the top of today’s column dates from nearly half a millennium before the events described in the Greek Epic Cycle, or more specifically, in Homer’s Iliad. Sometimes, history can be pretty fucking cool.

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On this day in 1915, two hundred and fifty Armenian intellectuals and community leaders are arrested in Istanbul, marking the opening salvo of what would eventually degenerate into one of the worst genocides of a century pretty much jam-fucking-packed with genocides. Sometimes, history isn’t very cool at all.

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On this day in 1955, representatives from twenty-nine African, Asian and Middle Eastern nations get together for the final day of the Bandung Conference, held in Bandung, Indonesia. At the time, the nations represented – Egypt, China, Indonesia, India, Iraq and others – all had yet to take sides in the Cold War, and for the most part they wanted to keep it that way, believing the struggle between the United States and the Soviet Union had little to do with them. Instead, they hoped to focus on economic development, improving health care, and ensuring better crop yields for their farmers. They also called for an end to South African apartheid and the nuclear arms race, which was gathering steam at the time. American reaction was not encouraging, to say the least. They refused to send an observer to the meetings, despite being invited to do so. Secretary of State John Foster Dulles reiterated the government's Dubya-esque policy of equating neutrality with aggression. The end result? Economic, political and even covert military retaliation, all of which caused increases in nationalism, anti-Americanism and/or radical Muslim fundamentalism in almost every nation represented at the conference. Many of these nations have yet to recover.

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On this day in 1990, during the thirty-fifth Space Shuttle mission, the Hubble Space Telescope is packed aboard the Discovery, then launched into outer space and successfully positioned into its current low-Earth orbit, from whence it has been providing us with mind-blowing deep-space porn ever since. Sadly, the Hubble is scheduled to go out of commission this year some time, and its replacement, the James Webb Space Telescope, won’t be launched until 2018, at the earliest. Considering the economic state of the world, and without a working Space Shuttle to ferry it up there, your humble correspondent is starting to worry that the Hubble might not ever be replaced. All you science-lovers out there keep your metatarsals and metacarpals crossed.

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On this day in 2005, for the first time ever, a cloned dog is born in South Korea. It's creator, the controversial Korean scientist Hwang Woo-Suk, names it Snuppy. This might not seem like such a big deal, considering Dolly the sheep was cloned almost nine years earlier. However, according to Wikipedia, despite scientists being able to clone everything from cats, cows, horses, mice, mules, pigs, rabbits and rats, they were having trouble cloning dogs “due to the problematic task of maturing a canine ovum in an artificial environment.” Who knew?

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 23


On this day in 1985, the Coca-Cola Company changes its formula and releases New Coke. The response was originally mixed, but soon became overwhelmingly negative, forcing Coca-Cola to revert to the original formula in less than 3 months… or did they? Coke’s sudden about-face on New Coke led to a number of conspiracy theories to help explain how one of the world’s biggest companies could make such a huge blunder. The three most popular theories are as follows: 

1. The company WANTED the new formula to fail, knowing consumers would cause a storm of controversy and demand the original formula’s return.

2. The change provided cover for the removal of coca derivatives from the product, in order to placate the Drug Enforcement Administration, which was trying to eradicate the cocaine-producing plant worldwide.

3. It was a double-switcheroo, concocted to cover the change from sugar-sweetened Coke to less expensive high fructose corn syrup.

Seeing as Coke did switch to HFCS when the brought back the “original” recipe, and seeing as the U.S. sugar trade association took out full-page ads letting consumers know about this switch when it happened, I’d say that this is one conspiracy theory that we can safely assume to be conspiracy fact. This, despite the fact that Coke’s CEO at the time replied to these theories by saying: "We're not that dumb, and we're not that smart.”

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Speaking of “new formulas”, it was on this day in 1984 that researcher Robert Gallo of the US National Cancer Institute “found” HIV, the retrovirus that causes AIDS. Soon thereafter, researcher Luc Montagnier of the Pasteur Institute in France filed a lawsuit claiming he discovered AIDS first, and that Gallo had stolen the virus after it was sent to his lab for study. Anyway, if you’re one of those blinded-by-the-Enlightenment “skeptics” who refuses to even consider the possibility that the AIDS epidemic is a man-made bioweapon created for the most sinister of all imaginable purposes, I suggest you read this eye-opening editorial… just for starters, anyway.


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On this day in 2005, the first ever YouTube video is uploaded, titled "Me at the zoo".

Monday, April 22, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 22

Senator McCarthy and Trump's Mentor, the unctuously evil Roy Cohn

On this day in the year 1864, Congress passes the Coinage Act, which mandates that, from that day forward, all United States currency should be inscribed with the motto: "In God We Trust." Which God, exactly, is a matter still up for debate.

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On this day in the year 1912, the first issue of Pravda, the voice of the Bolsheviks in the soon-to-be Soviet Union, is published in Saint Petersburg. Seeing as this was in pre-revolutionary Russia, the tone of discourse and the level of philosophical rhetoric was pretty elevated. The comics section, however, was just sad.

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On this day in the year 1954, live television coverage of witness testimony during the Congressional Army-McCarthy Hearings begins...as does the Red Scare, in earnest.

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On this day in the year 1970, the first ever Earth Day is celebrated... by PAGANS!!!

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On this day in the year 2000, absolutely nobody is hurt when 6-year-old Elián González is rescued from the clutches of his celebrity-craving relatives' home in Miami, Florida, after a lightning raid by federal agents... those SAVAGES!


Sunday, April 21, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 21




On this day in 753 BC, those bitch-tit-sucking twins Romulus and Remus found Rome. "Empire" ensues.

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On this day in 1519, Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés lands in Veracruz, on the east coast of Mexico, where he is greeted by the large native population. Things go about as well for those poor devils as yer old pal Jerky suspects it will go for us when the aliens – or extra-dimensional Archons, or whatever the fuck they really are – finally decide to stop pussyfooting around and initiate contact with someone other than gasoline-huffing NyQuil addicts from Squalor, East Virginia.

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On this day in 1863, in Persia, the founder of the Baha'i faith – Bahaullah – declares his mission as "He Whom God shall make Manifest". Baha'i is an interesting faith, with an interesting history. I'm not suggesting it was created by shadowy elites as a more progressive, rational alternative to the "religions of the book" that emerged from Antiquity. However, if a shadowy elite wanted to create a more progressive, rational alternative to the "religions of the book" in order to control the masses... that faith would most certainly look an awful lot like Baha'i.

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On this day in 1934, the "Surgeon's Photograph", the most famous photo allegedly showing the Loch Ness Monster, is published in the Daily Mail. In 1999, the photo is purportedly revealed to be a “fake” and a “hoax”. However, many serious questions remain about this supposed “debunking”. For instance, how would the hoaxers have known to make their “fake” monster look exactly like so many other photographs of lake monsters that would follow in their footsteps?

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On this day in 1966, Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie visits Jamaica, an event now celebrated as "Grounation Day". Jamaica's Rasta believers considered Selassie - traditionally seen as a descendant of the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon - to be the prophesied Second Coming of Christ... the Messiah. They still do. But during his first visit to Jamaica, over a hundred thousand Rasta descended on the airport, smoking "spliffs" and "chalices", creating both a cloud of marijuana smoke and a human crush so dense that Selassie refused to de-plane. Eventually Rasta representatives climbed aboard to meet with Selassie, then emerged and instructed the crowds to be respectful and move back, which they did. The rest of his visit went smoothly.

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On this day in the year 1986, intrepid sleuth Geraldo Rivera cracks open Al Capone's vault on national TV and finds ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, forever cementing the nation’s opinion of him as a first-class boob.

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On this day in 1994, astronomer Alexander Wolszczan announces the first ever discovery of extra-solar planets. As of early 2013, astronomers have catalogued over 800 such planets, including a few potentially earth-like ones.



Saturday, April 20, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 20




On this day in 1939Adolf Hitler's 50th birthday is celebrated as a national holiday in Nazi Germany. Six years later, in 1945, Hitler makes his final trip to the surface of the Fuhrerbunker in order to award Iron Crosses to boy soldiers of the Hitler Youth. After returning underground, he would never resurface alive.

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On this day in 1914, the Colorado National Guard and a goon squad hired by the Rockefeller-owned Colorado Fuel and Iron Company march on a tent colony of striking miners and their families. Before the night was through, nineteen people – including eleven children – would be killed in an event that would come to be known as the Ludlow Massacre.

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On this day in 1939, jazz singer Billie Holiday records what many people consider to be the first Civil Rights song, Strange Fruit. Give it a listen; it’s real good.

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On this day in 1968, English politician Enoch Powell makes his controversial “Rivers of Blood” speech, in which he takes a giant crap all over the UK’s surging non-White population. Give it a listen; it’s real bad.

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On this day in 1998, the left-wing German terrorist group Red Army Faction, also known as Baader-Meinhof, announces its dissolution after 28 years. Seeing as most of the terrorist attacks attributed to them (and many other left-wing European groups) were actually committed under the aegis of Gladio, a clandestine fascist remnant, they needn't really have bothered. This documentary is a good starting point if you want to understand the truth about the evolution of Western Civilization in the latter half of the 20th century.

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On this day in 1999, psycho-teens Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold live out the revenge fantasy dreams of Doom-playing teenage gun-nut Rammstein fans everywhere when they go on a record-breaking rampage at Columbine high school in Littleton, Colorado. They left 13 dead and two dozen seriously wounded in their wake, before turning their guns on themselves. But they had even bigger plans. According to police reports at the time, Eric and Dylan wanted to – get this – hijack a couple jumbo jets, fly them to New York city, and crash them into skyscrapers. Perhaps if they had achieved their goal, 9/11 wouldn't have happened, seeing as no suicide-hijacker worth his salt wants to be thought of as a rip-off artist.

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On this day in 2010, British Petroleum’s Deepwater Horizon oil well explodes in the Gulf of Mexico, killing eleven workers and beginning an oil spill that would last for six freaking months. Here is a rundown of all the conspiracy theories that have grown up around this generation-staining ecological holocaust.


Friday, April 19, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 19


On this day in 1961, the clandestine invasion of Cuba ends in spectacular failure when JFK refuses to lend air support to the unapproved covert military action kicked off by CIA-trained Cuban ex-pats who land at the rocky cliffs at Cuba's Bay of Pigs.

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On this day in 1971, cult leader Charles Manson is sentenced to die for his role in the Tate/LaBianca murders, which serve as an unofficial demarcation zone for the 1960's.

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On this day in 1985, the FBI surrounds the compound of the radical Christian identity group known as The Covenant, The Sword, and the Arm of the Lord, in Arkansas. The siege ends quickly, without bloodshed, as negotiators succeed in convincing the groups leaders to lay down their arms and come out peacefully. Eight years later, after studying the strategies engaged in during the CSAL standoff, the FBI chose this date to put an end the standoff in Waco. This time, as detailed in the next entry, things don’t go exactly as planned...

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On this day in 1993, the FBI puts their plan to end the standoff at David Koresh's Branch Davidian Compound into action. At 5:59 in the morning, via megaphone, Koresh and his followers are told that they are under arrest, and to come out peacefully. They are also once again warned to stay out of a central tower where the insertion of tear gas is slated to begin. The previous night's reaction to these warnings was to hold children up to the windows, as well as signs that read: "Flames Await." At 6:02, two FBI combat engineering vehicles begin inserting gas into the compound. At 6:04, the Davidians start shooting. At 7:30, a CEV breaches the front side of the building on the first floor, injecting more gas. At 9:30, another CEV begins enlarging the opening in the front of the building, and a third CEV breaches the rear of the building, creating openings from which the FBI hoped cult-members would escape. At seven minutes past noon, the Davidians are seen starting fires throughout the compound. At 12:12, negotiators get on the phone and ask Koresh to lead the Davidians out to safety. Nine Davidians flee the compound, and are arrested without incident. Ten minutes later, the sound of gunfire can be heard coming from the compound. At 12:41, fire-trucks begin pumping water on the now rapidly-burning buildings. By mid-afternoon, it was confirmed… 86 corpses, including over a dozen children, lay dead under the rubble of the compound. After 20 years of studying this tragedy, during which time your humble correspondent has read and watched documentation from every conceivable viewpoint - including but not limited to the documentaries The Rules of Engagement and A New Revelation - I have come to believe the following: After 51 days of begging for it, those members of the Branch Davidian Cult remaining in the compound finally managed to succeed in their bid for collective "suicide by cop", making themselves martyrs and heroes to right-wingers and religious fundamentalists in the process. Which brings us to our next entry...

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In the early morning of 1995, enraged by the conflagration at Waco two years earlier, Timothy McVeigh drives a rented Ryder truck up to the north side of the A.P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. At 9:02, a huge fuel-bomb in the back of the truck detonates, collapsing the north face of the building, and snuffing out the lives of 168 unsuspecting souls, including many children who had just been dropped off at the building's daycare center. Once again, a huge volume of "alternative journalism" has risen around this event, some of it good, but much of it not. Regardless, serious and substantial questions do remain about what really happened in the days and weeks before, during and after this Satanic conflagration. Most of the popular conspiracy theories center on the federal government's foreknowledge of and even participation in the bombing. Ironically, your humble correspondent finds the more persuasive arguments to be on the other side of the fence, by which I mean probably a lot more Christian identity extremists were involved than we have been led to believe.

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On this day in 2011, after 45 years in charge, Fidel Castro resigns from the Communist Party of Cuba's central committee.

Thursday, April 18, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 18


On this day in 1831, The University of Alabama is founded. Degrees are offered in a wide variety of disciplines including plantation management and cousin-fucking.

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On this day in 1857, "The Spirits Book" by Allan Kardec is published, marking the birth of Spiritualism in France.

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On this day in 1912, the Cunard liner RMS Carpathia brings 705 survivors from the RMS Titanic to New York City.

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On this day in 1924, Simon & Schuster publishes the first crossword puzzle book.

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On this day in 1930, the BBC reports that no news has taken place on that day, followed by some piano music and a return to that weird old-timey music like they play at the end of The Shining.

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On this day in 1958, a United States federal court rules that American poet Ezra Pound should be released from St. Elizabeth's Psychiatric Hospital, the asylum where he'd been held since the end of World War II for making pro-Fascist broadcasts on behalf of Mussolini, among other insults to The Powers That Be. Prior to the First World War and for a short while after it, Pound had been one of the most - if not the single most - influential Western intellectual in the Modern tradition. He helped usher in the careers of everybody from T.S. Eliot and James Joyce to Robert Frost and Ernest Hemingway. Blaming the meat grinder slaughter of World War I on international capitalism and usury, he devoted his life to seeking out a more equitable monetary system and finding an alternative, more mystical view of life. He thought he'd found the latter in Fascist Italy. He was wrong, with tragic results.

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On this day in 1980, the Republic of Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia) comes into being, with Canaan Banana as the country's first President. The Zimbabwean dollar replaces the Rhodesian dollar as the official currency. And they all lived happily ever after.

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On this day in 1983, a suicide bomber detonates a delivery van packed with 2000 lbs of explosives outside the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon, killing 63 people, mostly embassy and CIA staff. It was the deadliest attack on a U.S. diplomatic mission up to that time, and the use of suicide bombing increased afterwards, culminating in the extremely destructive attacks on the U.S. Marine and French Paratrooper barracks in Beirut on October 23 of the same year, in which 299 French and American soldiers lost their lives.

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On this day in 1996, in Lebanon, at least 106 civilians are killed when the Israel Defense Forces shell the United Nations compound at Quana where more than 800 civilians had taken refuge.

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On this day in 2014, sixteen people are killed in an avalanche on Mount Everest. They probably shouldn't have been there anyway.



Wednesday, April 17, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 17


On this day in 1397, Geoffrey Chaucer begins telling his Canterbury Tales for the first time at the court of Richard II. Chaucer scholars have also identified this date (in 1387) as the start of the book's pilgrimage to Canterbury.

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On this day in 1897, the Aurora, Texas, UFO incident allegedly takes place. It's pretty freaking interesting, to tell you the truth.

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On this day in 1907, the Ellis Island immigration center processes 11,747 people, more than on any other day.

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On this day in 1937, Daffy Duck's first appearance, in Porky's Duck Hunt.


On this day in 1941, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia surrenders to Germany during World War II. And yet we don’t make any “surrender-monkey” jokes about Yugoslavians the way we do about the French. Why is that, do you think?

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On this day in 1961, in a massive covert operation that remains, at best, poorly understood, one thousand four hundred CIA-funded Cuban exiles (most likely trained by Bush Crime Family capo di tuti capi George Herbert "Poppy" Walker Bush) land in the Bay of Pigs, ostensibly in an abortive attempt to overthrow Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Depending on which version of reality you believe - the officially approved version or one of the myriad competing alternative versions - this failed coup either led directly to JFK's assassination by Castro supporter Lee Harvey Oswald, or it led indirectly to his assassination by the CIA as revenge for JFK's refusal to be forced into providing air support for a military action the Executive branch had no part in planning. Personally, yer old pal Jerky considers Bay of Pigs to be a veritable Rosetta Stone for parapolitical theorists.

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On this day in 1969, Palestinian immigrant Sirhan Sirhan is found guilty of assassinating presidential candidate Robert Francis Kennedy. Just as in the assassination of his brother, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, serious doubts and troubling questions remain.

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On this day in 1975, the Khmer Rouge captures the Cambodian capital city Phnom Penh and government forces surrender, ending that nation’s civil war, and kicking off one of the century’s bloodiest genocides.
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On this day in 1986, IBM announces it will commence the manufacture of the first ever computers using the megabit memory chip, which is capable of storing more than one million bits of electronic data, thereby bringing us out of the age of ascii nudes, which led directly to the era of masturbation-worthy computer porn.

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On this day in 2013, an incredibly powerful explosion occurs at a fertilizer plant in the city of West, Texas, killing 15 and injuring 160, thus proving once and for all the old adage "Everything is KABOOM-er in Texas."