Friday, April 5, 2024

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR APRIL 5





On this day in the year 2348 B.C., Noah's ark runs aground on Mount Ararat. Yeah… right.

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On this day in 1242, during a battle on the ice of Lake Peipus, Russian forces, led by Alexander Nevsky, rebuff an invasion attempt by the Teutonic Knights.

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On this day in 1614, in Virginia, Native American Pocahontas marries English colonist John Rolfe.

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On this day in 1621, the Mayflower sails from Plymouth on a return trip to England, taking back all the pathetic pussies who couldn't hack life in the New World.

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On this day in 1722, the Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen discovers Easter Island.

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On this day in the year 1770, British troops kill five and wound several more after a sentry guard is taunted and pelted with snowballs at the Boston customs building. This event – now called the Boston Massacre – was instrumental in achieving popular support for the American Revolution.

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On this day in 1900, archaeologists in Knossos, Crete, discover a large cache of clay tablets with hieroglyphic writing in a script they call Linear B.

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On this day in 1922, the American Birth Control League, forerunner of Planned Parenthood, is incorporated.

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On this day in 1933, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs two executive orders: 6101 to establish the Civilian Conservation Corps, and 6102 "forbidding the Hoarding of Gold Coin, Gold Bullion, and Gold Certificates" by U.S. citizens.

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On this day in 1949, Fireside Theater debuts on television.

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On this day in 1951, Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union.

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On this day in 1958, Ripple Rock, an underwater threat to navigation in the Seymour Narrows in Canada is destroyed in one of the largest non-nuclear controlled explosions of the time.

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On this day in 1974, the World Trade Center first opens its doors. At the time, its Twin Towers were the world's tallest buildings… 110 stories high.

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On this day in 1976, in the People's Republic of China, the April Fifth Movement leads to the Tiananmen incident.

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On this day in 1987, upstart network FOX TV fires up its first night of programming, showcasing the proudly stupid sitcom Married With Children, and the proudly brainy sketchcom, The Tracey Ullman Show. Guess which one survived the longest? You know it, dumbass.

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On this day in 1992, Alberto Fujimori, president of Peru, dissolves the Peruvian congress by military force.

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On this day in 1992, the Siege of Sarajevo begins when Serb paramilitaries murder peace protesters Suada Dilberovic and Olga Sučić on the Vrbanja Bridge.

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On this day in 1994, Kurt Cobain decides it's better to burn out than to fade away. Either that, or Courtney paid someone to kill him. At least, that's what her dad says.

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On this day in 1999, two Libyans suspected of bringing down Pan Am flight 103 in 1988 are handed over for eventual trial in the Netherlands.

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On this day in 2009, North Korea launches its controversial Kwangmyŏngsŏng-2 rocket. The satellite passed over mainland Japan, which prompted an immediate reaction from the United Nations Security Council, as well as participating states of Six-party talks.



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