PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 18

On this day in 1178, five Canterbury monks see what is possibly the Giordano Bruno crater being formed when they spot a huge explosion taking place on the surface of the Moon. Here's how they described what they saw:

“From the midpoint of the division a flaming torch sprang up, spewing out, over a considerable distance, fire, hot coals and sparks. Meanwhile the body of the Moon which was below writhed, as it were in anxiety, and to put it in the words of those who reported it to me and saw it with their own eyes, the Moon throbbed like a wounded snake. Afterwards it resumed its proper state. This phenomenon was repeated a dozen times or more, the flame assuming various twisting shapes at random and then returning to normal. Then, after these transformations, the Moon from horn to horn, that is along its whole length, took on a blackish appearance.”

I don’t know about you guys, but that would have freaked the hell OUT of me if I'd seen that.

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On this day in 1812, the US Congress declares war on the United Kingdom. Chaos ensues.

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On this day in 1945, English-speaking pro-German propaganda broadcaster William Joyce - more infamously known as Lord Haw-Haw - is charged with treason. When you go back and listen to his broadcasts, they're actually no more seditious or objectionable than what you can hear on AM talk radio 24 hours a day from the likes of Michael "the Savage" Wiener, panic-mongering pants-wetting phony Glenn Beck, and right-wing radio's clown prince, Rush Limbaugh.

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On this day in 1873, infamous rabble-rousing suffragette Susan B. Anthony is fined 100 dollars for attempting to vote during the previous year's Presidential elections.

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On this day in 1928, aviatrix Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to cross the Atlantic by air. But don't let too excited, ladies... it was as a passenger this time.

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On this day in 2006, Kazakhstan launches their first ever satellite into orbit. That's right, you read right... Kazakhstan, of Central Asian dictatorship infamy, has access to space-faring technology. I mean, it's not as bad as if it had been Turkmenistan, but still!