Saturday, August 5, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR AUGUST 5


On this day in 1570, a group of Spanish Jesuits led by Fray Batista Segura arrives in the Chesapeake Bay area of Virginia in order to convert the native "savages" there to Christianity. Six months later, the entire group was slaughtered by the very Indians they had come to evangelize. BURN!

***

On this day in 1583, Sir Humphrey Gilbert establishes the first English colony in North America at what is now St. John's, Newfoundland.

***

On this day in 1735, New York Weekly Journal writer John Peter Zenger is acquitted of “seditious libel” against the royal governor of New York because what he had published was, in fact, true.

***

On this day in 1861, in order to help pay for the Civil War, the United States government levies the first ever income tax as part of the Revenue Act of 1861. Back then, you had to give the US government 3% of all incomes over and above $800.

***

On this day in 1861, the United States Army abolishes flogging. Chaos ensues.

***

On this day in 1882, Standard Oil of New Jersey is established. It is more widely known across the globe as Exxon and or Esso, one of the most evil, conspiracy-encrusted corporations in history, run by one of the most evil, conspiracy-encrusted families in history... the Rockefellers.

***

On this day in 1944, the Nazis begin a week-long massacre of anywhere between 40,000 and 100,000 civilians and prisoners of war in Wola, Poland.

***

On this day in 1957, American Bandstand debuts on the ABC television network. The show is dedicated to teenage baby-boomers, playing the songs and showing popular dances of the time. The show’s Dorian Grey-like host, Dick Clark, didn’t age a day during the show’s half-century run.

***

Goodbye, Norma Jean. The once and future Marilyn Monroe blows out her own candle with a fistful of barbiturates on this day in 1962, thus selflessly sparing us, the public, from having to witness her long, sad decline into decrepitude. Meanwhile, half a world away, in South Africa, freedom fighter Nelson Mandela is thrown in jail. He would not emerge from captivity until 28 years later, in 1990.

***

On this day in 1981, US President Ronald Reagan fires 11,359 striking air-traffic controllers who ignored his presidential declaration that they had to return to work, or else.

***

On this day in 2012, some asshole by the name of Wade Michael Page walks into a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, and opens fire, killing six people. Eventually, he shoots himself in the head after being wounded by police during the post-massacre standoff.

No comments:

Post a Comment