Tuesday, June 27, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 27


On this day in 1844, Mormon founder Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum are lynched (shot) by an angry mob outside a Carthage, Illinois jailhouse. To this day, some believe that a man who tried to decapitate the cult leader's corpse with a knife was prevented from doing so by a lightning bolt, but yer old pal Jerky suspects that story is bullshit.

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On this day in 1971, after only three years in business, rock promoter Bill Graham closes the Fillmore East in New York, New York, the "Church of Rock and Roll", but no before Frank Zappa and the Mothers record Fillmore East '71 there! Iridescent Naugahyde, baby!

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On this day in 1954, the CIA - using money, propaganda, weapons and personnel - overthrows the democratically elected government of Guatemala, installing some of the most profoundly evil fuckers in the hemisphere in their stead. The Powers That Be consider this a great moral victory.

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On this day in 1990, author Salman Rushdie - condemned to death by Iran's Ayatollah Khomeni for penning the "blasphemous" novel, The Satanic Verses - contributes $8600 to help earthquake victims in Iran. Unfortunately for Salman, Iran's leaders saw through his little good-will ploy and refused to revoke the fatwah.

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On this day in 1995, stammering sex symbol Hugh Grant and street-walking cocksucker Divine Brown are arrested by the LAPD for expressing their love for each other in the front seat of Grant's white BMW.

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On this day in 2001, people start saying some very disturbing things about quasi-autistic, sexually ambiguous "comedienne" Paula Poundstone when she's arrested for "lewd conduct with a minor". The media kept discussing it until the terrorist attacks of 9/11, after which they stop. Soon thereafter, she pleads guilty to a lesser charge, and the details of her indictment are never disclosed to the public.

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