Thursday, June 15, 2017

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR JUNE 15


On this day in 763 BC, Assyrian astronomers record a solar eclipse that is later used to fix the chronology of all Mesopotamian - and many other peoples' - ancient history.

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On this day in 1667, the first human blood transfusion is administered by Dr Jean-Baptiste Denys. I can't help but imagine that the process hurts like the dickens.

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On this day in 1752, American living legend Benjamin Franklin proves that lightning is made out of electricity. Shazam!

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On this day in the year 1896, Japanese followers of the Shinto religion pick a really, really bad time to hold a beach party. As they pray and chant and do whatever it is Shinto believers do, a giant tidal wave rises up and crashes into the beach, killing over twenty-seven thousand people and injuring nine thousand more. I don’t know about you folks, but if yer old pal Jerky had survived such an event, he’d be giving some serious consideration to switching religions.

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On this day in 1924, the nation's native Americans are officially proclaimed citizens of the United States of America. And so we take a moment to wish a very happy Bitter Irony Day to all our native friends!

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On this day in 1944, in the Saskatchewan general election, the CCF, led by Tommy Douglas, is elected and forms the first socialist government in North America. To this day, Douglas always scores high on lists of Canada's "Favorite Canadians in History."

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On this day in 1969, CBS replaces the popular Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour - which they cancelled for taking a stand against the Vietnam war - with Hee Haw, featuring the hillbilly charms of Roy Clark and Buck Owens. The nation's collective IQ drops a total of five points before the first season is through.

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On this day in 1978, Jordan's King Hussein marries American hottie Lisa Halaby, who takes the name Queen Noor.

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On this day in 2005, human political prop Terri Schiavo's autopsy results come in. After opening her up and having a look around, doctors discovered that 1) her cause of death was acute dehydration, 13 days after having her feeding tube removed; 2) there was no evidence whatsoever that her husband was abusing her, as some of the freakier Jesus Freaks in this debacle had alleged; and 3) Terri had indeed lost more than 50% brain volume during her fifteen years in a persistent vegetative state.

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On this day in 2008, Lehman Brothers files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, triggering the 2008 financial crisis.

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