Monday, October 31, 2016

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR OCTOBER 31


On this day in 683, during the Siege of Mecca, the Kaaba catches fire and is burned down.

***

On this day in 1517, Protestant reformer Martin Luther posts his 95 theses on the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg.

***

On this day in 1876, a monster cyclone ravages India, resulting in over 200,000 deaths.

***

On this day in 1913, the Lincoln Highway, the first automobile highway across United States, is dedicated.

***

On this day in 1917, the "last successful cavalry charge in history" takes place during World War I, at the Battle of Beersheba.

***

On this day in 1926, after being punched in the stomach by some idiot college punk backstage after a show in the frozen Canadian city of Montreal, Harry Houdini - the world's most famous magician and escape artist - dies of a burst apendix. Hey! Smooth move, CANADA!

***

On this day in 1941, after 14 years of work, Mount Rushmore is completed.

***

On this day in 1956, the United Kingdom and France begin bombing Egypt to force the reopening of the Suez Canal. Jeez, why didn't they just ASK?!

***

On this day in 1961, in the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin's body is removed from Lenin's Tomb.

***

On this day in 1963, hundreds of people gather at the Indiana State Fair Coliseum to take in the season's final showing of Holiday on Ice. Unfortunately, a faulty propane-powered popcorn machine explodes under the bleachers, and seventy-four people die in the resulting conflagration, making this one of Indiana's worst ever man-made catastrophes. God damn you, Orville Redenbacher!

***

On this day in 1984, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi is assassinated by two security guards. Riots break out in New Delhi and nearly 10,000 Sikhs are killed.

***

On this day in 2000, the Soyuz TM-31 launches, carrying the first resident crew to the International Space Station. The ISS has been continuously crewed since.

***

By this day in 2001, it had only been a few days since our erstwhile superiors in Washington passed the U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T.A.C.T. (without ever reading it), but it was passed in time for Wisconsin man Jeffrey Remshek to learn about the game's changing rules, the hard way. Jeffrey was arrested after calling Central Intelligence Agency headquarters and accusing the organization of being involved in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. This, of course, was a very bad idea, as the CIA has the third worst sense of humor of any federal law enforcement agency (with the NSA and the Secret Service being only slightly less whimsical). After four calls, the spooks had had enough. They sent local authorities to arrest Remshek on three misdemeanor counts of - get this - "making an unlawful telephone call with intent to threaten." How could they possibly know that?! Anyway, he spent the night in jail, and was released the next day on a signature bond, which means he will likely be under omnipresent surveillance until the day he dies... and all for pointing out the obvious! Gee... I wonder whatever happened to old Jeff? I'd check myself, but I don't feel comfortable Googling his name.

***

On this day in 2002, a federal grand jury in Houston, Texas indicts former Enron Corp chief financial officer Andrew Fastow on 78 counts of wire fraud, money laundering, conspiracy and obstruction of justice related to the collapse of his ex-employer.

***

On this day in 2011, the global population of humans reached seven billion. This day is now recognized by the United Nations as Seven Billion Day.


No comments:

Post a Comment