Tuesday, August 16, 2016

PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR AUGUST 16


On this day in 1869, a Paraguayan battalion made up of children is massacred by the Brazilian Army during the Paraguayan War.

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On this day in 1896, three prospectors named Skookum Jim Mason, George Carmack and Dawson Charlie discover gold in a tributary of the Klondike River in Canada, setting off the Klondike Gold Rush.

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Carl Panzram, one of the most unapologetically evil fuckers ever to roam the planet, is arrested for the last time in his miserable, misbegotten life on this day in 1928. Born to a couple of Minnesota dirt farmers, Carl got off to a rolling start when he was incarcerated for public drunkenness at the ripe old age of eight years old. From that point on, his life would be half-spent in Christian correctional schools, county lockups and state penitentiaries. The other half of his life was devoted to theft, arson, forced buggery, child rape, serial thrill-killing... you name the evil deed, and Panzram was an authority. During the course of his long career as an almost elemental force for evil, he plied his Satanic trade on four continents, murdering untold numbers of victims, including six men in one day, whom he killed during a crocodile hunt in Africa. Truly, Carl Panzram was too evil to live.

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On this day in 1966, the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) begins investigations of Americans who have aided the Viet Cong. The committee intends to introduce legislation making these activities illegal. Anti-war demonstrators disrupt the meeting and 50 people are arrested.

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On this day in 1974, Punk Rock pioneers The Ramones play their first show in a local New York club named CBGB.

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On this day in the year 1977, Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, dies on his throne when his heart explodes from overstraining while trying to squeeze out a grey, cement-like loaf of hardened, compacted shit from his colon. I've always thought that it would have been fitting to bury the parasitic Doctor Nick and the Colonel with Elvis, much like in Ancient Egypt, where the most loyal servants of Pharoah used be be buried alive with their masters.

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On this day in 1989, a solar flare from the Sun creates a geomagnetic storm that affects micro chips, leading to a halt of all trading on Toronto's stock market.

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On this day in 2010, China Overtakes Japan as World's Second-Biggest Economy

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On this day in 2012, in one of the worst anti-labor atrocities of contemporary times, South African police fatally shoot 34 miners and wound 78 more during an industrial dispute near Rustenburg. This happened just one year ago, folks, not in the 1890's.

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